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T.D.T.F. stands for Too Drunk To Function. When you are so intoxicated it is almost impossible to even walk or talk. Usually used when someone doesn't want to say "too drunk to function"
"Look at her falling over, she is so T.D.T.F!"

"Tonight we are getting T.D.T.F!"
t.d.t.f by Akadot March 9, 2009
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S.T.D.T.F. 

A girl that looks like she's down to have sex, but is also probably so easy that she might not be carrying something. Proceed with caution.

See related topic: Jersey Shore
Dude, A: Nobody says that. And B: watch out, she's S.T.D.T.F.
S.T.D.T.F. by AllenHalas December 2, 2010

T.I.F.R.Y.B.F.W.N.S.F.B.W.Y.T.M.O.T.M.F.S.W.Y.T.D.W.R.A.B.F.B.O.L.B.A.I.C.U.T.A.I.G.B.T.F.O.Y.B 

This is for Rachel you big fat white nasty smelling fat bitch why you took me off the motherfucking schedule with your trifflin dirty white racist ass you big fat oompa loompa ass bitch i’m coming up there and i’m going to beat the fuck out of you bitch
Karen: Where is your manager?
Manager: T.I.F.R.Y.B.F.W.N.S.F.B.W.Y.T.M.O.T.M.F.S.W.Y.T.D.W.R.A.B.F.B.O.L.B.A.I.C.U.T.A.I.G.B.T.F.O.Y.B

who'd'ven't'f'i'dn't've'nt'f'i'd'ven't'f'ihavn'tn't'd'i've 

A lengthy contraction. Use it your own way, who knows what it actually means. It’s too rusty to translate. The word can be found on Reddit, Tumblr, and probably more, most likely originating on social media.
Mike: who'd'ven't'f'I'dn't've'nt'f'I'd'ven't'f'Ihavn'tn't'd'I've-
John: Mike, shut up, we’re in an interview
down to fuck

trying to hook up, and/or have sex.
drunk stephen: yo boo, d.t.f.?
random girl: d.t.f.?
drunk stephen: yeah boo, you down to fuck?
d.t.f. by stephen wainwright March 20, 2008
means: Down To Fuck

used in superbad
"dude, im gonna get laid! shes D-T-F!"
D-T-F by oisuxx October 23, 2007
Down to Fuck
Pat: Yo I'm kinda horny you think that girl is D.T.F?
Zak: Yeah, my girl says she's loose and is D.T.F anytime.
D.T.F by Gbaby954 June 21, 2008