Swagmegistus
A very cute yellow turtle that practices occultism.
It is originally the pet yurtle (yellow turtle) of the legendary Hermes Trismegistus, who provided much swag synonymously in esoteric knowledge. It was lost for two hundred years, reportedly kidnapped by Paracelsus and then later resurrected by John Dee, whom later Swagmegistus famously told him to swap wives with Edward Kelley.
In that instance the Count of St. Germain magically teleported into John Deeznuts's office and saved Swagmegistus from his exasperation.
Swagmegistus later met famed occultist Aleister Crowley at the British Museum in the form of Heqet, but Crowley was more interested in the Stele of Ankh-ef-en-Khonsu, which left Swagmegistus very confused because he was artefact 69, a sacred number in Thelema along with 93.
It is originally the pet yurtle (yellow turtle) of the legendary Hermes Trismegistus, who provided much swag synonymously in esoteric knowledge. It was lost for two hundred years, reportedly kidnapped by Paracelsus and then later resurrected by John Dee, whom later Swagmegistus famously told him to swap wives with Edward Kelley.
In that instance the Count of St. Germain magically teleported into John Deeznuts's office and saved Swagmegistus from his exasperation.
Swagmegistus later met famed occultist Aleister Crowley at the British Museum in the form of Heqet, but Crowley was more interested in the Stele of Ankh-ef-en-Khonsu, which left Swagmegistus very confused because he was artefact 69, a sacred number in Thelema along with 93.
John Dee: That Swagmegistus fucker told us to swap wives.
Edward Kelley: Ohhh, how wise, just like Master Oogway.
John Dee: Who now?
Edward Kelley: Ohhh, how wise, just like Master Oogway.
John Dee: Who now?
Swagmegistus by Swagmegistus November 7, 2022
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