When a man sits in a pie, and wiggles himself around.

There are variations, such as crybaby squat which involves tears, and costume squat, where the man wears a costume of choice. There can be combinations of both, but not all pie sitters cry.

Also known as
Hoboken Squat Cobbler
Full Moon Moonpie
Boston Cream Splat
Simple Simon The Ass Man
Dutch Apple Ass
Tecnically they would be categorized as fetish videos, but nothing illegal. Just a man. A fully clothed man I might add, just all by himself. Just Mr. Wormald...Fully clothed....uh....yeah

Doing what?

Squat Cobbler
by Winchester1214 February 27, 2016
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Squat Cobbler: (skwät ka-blēr)

The fetishized act of a man who sits in pie(s). Particular attention is given to the man's clothed/costumed buttocks and the specific "wiggling around" gyrations that are made once the man has sufficiently mounted the pastry.

Squat cobbling and it's variants are designed to titillate the senses and are often stored on various forms of digital media. Specialist squat cobblers, such as "crybaby squat cobblers", (a male who sits in pie while crying like a baby) are rare but in very high demand amongst pie sitting hobbyists.

(Squat cobbler videos will always feature a fully clothed or costumed man, who's pie sitting and wiggling of the buttocks will always be performed within all legal boundaries.)

AKA: "Hoboken Squat Cobbler", "Boston Cream Splat", "Full Moon Pie" and the oft requested "Dutch Apple Ass"
I stopped going on fullcreamahead.org for watching squat cobbler vids dude... I found a guy who will do custom dutch-apple-ass squat cobbling movies and only accepts baseball cards as payment bro!
by Russell. D.Jimmz March 1, 2016
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A squat cobbler is someone who squats over pies (like apple and rhubarb), and rubs their buttocks over the oven warmed dessert for sexual arousal.
Some specialists opt to cry and sob whilst performing this act.
I would like to partake in Squat Cobbling to get myself off tonight.
Or
Look over there, that man's squat cobbling.

He is a Squat Cobbler.
by Jimmy MacGill April 6, 2016
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Fetish filming of person sitting on pie
He was afraid to share his fetish for squatting cobbler despite watching Fifty Shades of Grey with his companion
by Saul Fan February 23, 2016
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A sexual fetish, similar to sploshing/food sitting/cake farts, but specifically with the use of pies.
That dude's a squat cobbler... You know.. he gets off sitting on various pies. Boston cream, Dutch Apple, lemon meringue, if it's a pie he's sitting on it and loving it.
by mediaskate648 April 27, 2016
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Someone who gets a sexual thrill by sitting on pie.
"Sunny thought Bob had a foot fetish, but he turned out to be a squat cobbler guy."
by Manny Petty February 23, 2016
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When a man sits in a pie, and wiggles around in it.

Other terms for it are "Full Moon Moon Pie", "Boston Creme Splat", and "Dutch Apple Ass".
"Daniel would make these... well, "fetish videos" for his friend, nothing illegal mind you."
"And what would he do in them?"
"Y'know... squat cobbler. What, you mean to tell me that you're a cop, and you don't know what squat cobbler is?"
by N1nDr0id February 29, 2016
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