This is when a crap is taking a long time, you get the paper ready and use it to blow your nose while you wait. Then you forget and when you wipe your ass with it it doesnt actually absorb anything. It just smears everything in a big mess round your hole, needing further cleaning with soap.
Oh my god sorry i took so long I dont want to put you off your dinner but i got the paper ready and then i used it to blow my nose then i wiped my ass with it but it didnt actually absorb anything it just smeared everything in a big mess and i had to clean up in the sink it was a distinct case of snottybotty .
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'
A hardo is a person who tries extremely hard at everything. Most times a hardo will try very hard at things that do not require excessive effort. For example, sports practices, gym class, etc.
Wow did you see Jack at practice today? What a hardo!