A reactive emotional pattern that develops in response to the rubber band effect. When one partner repeatedly snaps back into the relationship, the other—wary of the cycle—begins forming secret emotional or romantic connections. Shadow banding is the quiet stretch: a hidden coping mechanism born from mistrust, grief, or emotional exhaustion. It’s not about cheating—it’s about survival when the relationship feels unstable or unsafe.
After she came back and ran off the girls I was dating, I started shadow banding—keeping quiet connections just in case she left again.
by Briton Phillip September 03, 2025
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