Visiting new and interesting places while completely lost courtesy of the imaginative route selection typically provided by Satellite Navigation devices
I went satseeing through two farms and a ford today and met an interesting man playing a banjo on a rocking chair
Having to go to the bathroom in the most urgent way but can't because there are no public washrooms for miles around. So you find a secluded spot to try and go pee in effort to relieve the pressure but at the same time you squeeze your butt cheeks so you don't crap your pants.
"John said he almost messed himself the other day while squeeing in the bushes by the park."
The hypothetical man (often a sinistercharacter who decided not to go to boot camp) that is doing your girlfriend/wife while you are on deployment overseas.
Ain't no use in goin home,
Jody's got your girl and gone.
Ain't no use in goin back,
Jody's got your Cadillac,
Ain't no use in feeling blue,
Jody's took your checkbook too.