Safety Shirt 

Tight necked crew style t-shirt worn underneath another t-shirt. Uses include sopping up an excessive amount of sweat redirected from one’s armpits due to over use of medical grade deodorant, keeping one’s inappropriately stiff nipples from tearing through their outer shirt, or simplify adding a subtle splash of color to one’s ensemble. The Safety Shirt should be an essential staple of every Big Guy’s closet.

Mal: Do I see you wearing not one, but two t-shirts?

Marty: Of course! I don’t go anywhere without a Safety Shirt.

Mal: Is it because you afraid of sweating out all that Big Guy Energy?

Marty: Nope, I just want to make sure I’m not going around cutting glass when my turkey’s done.

Safety Shirt by Falcon Thunder Fist July 14, 2021

safety-shart 

When one is 90% sure they are going to fart but there is an outside chance they may shart, so just to be safe they seek out the nearest toilet.

If you'll excuse a moment, I have to go make a safety-shart. I don't want a repeat of what happened last week when I shat my britches.

safety-shart by m.c. phatback July 8, 2014