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Retrograding the Cakehole

retrograding the cakehole

(verb)

1.
To speak with such catastrophic stupidity, cosmic-level nonsense, or aggressively misplaced confidence that it feels like your mouth is reversing through time, undoing human evolution one syllable at a time.

2.
When someone talks so much garbage that reality glitches, Mercury goes into retrograde out of self-defense, and the universe files a noise complaint.

3.
A linguistic war crime performed using the mouth (aka the “cakehole”), typically accompanied by unwarranted opinions, loud wrongness, or the refusal to shut the fuck up.
A: “Bro I think dinosaurs died because they smoked too much volcano.”
B: “Please stop retrograding the cakehole before I lose brain cells.”

Boss: “Where’s that report I didn’t ask for?”
Me: “Love, you’re retrograding the cakehole again. Try thinking.”

Mom: “Why is your cousin’s WhatsApp status important for your career?”
You: “Ma… MA… you’re retrograding the cakehole.”

(Say this only if you want to die instantly.)

Reprograming 

It's what you call it when, you're family finds you, takes you home from the cult, and deprograms you, then the cult finds you again, takes you back from your family, and has to go through the process of brainwashing you all over again.
Father Sirius: Good news, children, we have located Sally, and she still would love to be with us all when the great ship comes to take us to the Mecca of the stars, unfortunately her family don't believe in our destiny, so I need you to go to her house and bring her back to us.

Sister R5G331D: First reprograming Sally, then saltine, crackers and space milk. It's the greatest day ever!
Reprograming by p@$$ing thr.ugh January 21, 2010

retrogramming 

finding out when a person went to college based on their writings.
The youngest state press association noncollege newspaper editor graduated from college in the 2000s based on retrogramming.
retrogramming by Coop Dupe June 11, 2018