Relativistic Computers

The physical hardware designed to operate reliably under the extreme conditions required for relativistic computing. These aren't just silicon in a fancy box; they must be engineered to withstand incredible gravitational tidal forces, acceleration stresses, and the bizarre energy environments near massive objects. Their architecture might use light-based processors to avoid issues with electron flow under relativistic conditions, and they require paradox-proof communication systems to send data back to a slower-timed frame without losing sync.

*Example: "My new gaming rig is a relativistic computer. I had it installed on a drone ship doing a continuous 0.5c boost-brake loop. In-game latency is zero, because by the time my input reaches it, the entire next frame is already calculated. The electricity bill is mostly rocket fuel."* Relativistic Computers

Relativistic Computers by Dumuabzu January 29, 2026

Relativistic Computer

A computer designed to operate in relativistic environments (high speeds, strong gravity) or one that uses relativistic principles for computation. In practice, any computer aboard a near‑light‑speed ship is a relativistic computer in the sense that its internal clocks must be managed carefully to avoid errors. In speculative fiction, relativistic computers might exploit time dilation as a resource: for example, running a computation in a frame where time passes slower relative to the problem, effectively giving it longer to solve. The term is largely future‑oriented.

Example: “The relativistic computer on the probe used a tiny black hole’s gravity well to warp time locally, solving equations that would have taken centuries on Earth – minutes inside the well.”

Relativistic Computer by Abzugal April 30, 2026

jerb 

well known from south park
rednecks get angrry that future folk took there jobs so they yell
They took ouare jerbs!

Them future folk took ouare jerbs!

jerb by Jimberley Kim April 7, 2005

Cheeks 

An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)

"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."

Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility

I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.

sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".

A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.

Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.

"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."

Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004