Porch monkey

A person willing to do basically any household chore, yard work, errands etc. for their local drug dealers in exchange for drugs.

Porch monkeys are some of the best ass kissing people you've ever met!

by Jinx Breece May 27, 2017

Porch Monkey

A lazy person who sits on a porch all day and stares at their neighbors

Look at that fucking porch monkey neighbor of ours, all he does is look at us all day.

by MUKUM January 6, 2009

Porch Monkey

A gangster wannabe that talks about being gangster when all he does is sit on steps and talk about being gangster to other wannabe gangsters

-Yo so this dude was disrespecting me, I would have stabbed him but i don't need heat from the 5-0
-Dude you've been sitting on the porch for the past week you porch monkey

by Dago Power September 9, 2010

Porch Monkey

A lazy black man, who sits on his porch drinking and trading his food stamps for crack.

Damn porch monkeys, cant they just get a job!

by Luvs2Spooge January 12, 2008

porch monkey

Describes that unprecedented situation, where a monkey's actually placed on a porch, seemingly enjoying itself.

Retard: "Hey John, there's a monkey on that porch."

John: "Yes, that's a porch monkey"

by ILoatheMySelf June 25, 2009

porch monkey

used to describe a black person sitting on his porch all day doing nothing, but it can also refer to a mexican who is outside constantly doing some task that would take a normal person under 10 minutes to do.

a porch monkey could be a mexican working on his car, changing its oil, ALL DAY LONG, with several of his brothers and friends. very annoying when you live next to them and you have to listen to their spanish jibber jabbering all day long. then just when you think they're going to go inside because it's dark, they they bring out a lamp...

by bleh34234 July 6, 2009

porch monkey

Porch monkey:
Primitive ape from the jungles of Africa.

That porch monkey stole my watermelon.

by seanopia March 21, 2008