a
human (although you can’t tell because of how huge they are and how different they look in real life) equivalent of a 3-hour voice note no
one asked for. talks like she’s narrating her own netflix documentary — tragically, no
one’s watching
person
1: my neighbor with the most beadiest looking eyes you’ve
ever seen somehow knows i’m expecting because she’s nosy, and told everyone before i could
person 2: oh really? i’ve got one of those too
person
1: yeah?
person 2: yeah, she’s such a patricia daphne
person
1: no way, that’s my nosy neighbor’s name too!