Parasiticus 

The elusive mexican yellow bellied kokoandrea hydra is name of this rare species. Its scientific name is Andreus Parasiticus Weakan Maleian.

This animal lives, roams and infests homes. Commonly mistaken from an animal from "Where the Wild things are." It is a rare specimen that usually hides in the brush or under the mud and rocks.

It is known as a parasite that attaches itself to weak males. (Similar to the jockey in hit multiplayer game by Valve, Left 4 Dead)

This creature has evolved to live in the homes of humans. It only feeds until its host withered and inches from death then it nurses it back to health..only to feed again later.

The Andreus Parasiticus has an entire family of parasites as well. The most notable being the grandma hydra who lures it's prey with fruit cups and sex.

It is also a creature of habit. It tricks its weak fat male host into treating its parasitic family to various meals usually paid by the flesh n blood of the host.

Scientists have yet to figure out how the Andreus Parasiticus does this. Trickery of the mind? Or does it just wisely choose the weakest minded host?

Andreus Parasiticus

Parasiticus by Endangered Species December 20, 2009

parasitic troglodyte

An intensely ugly, unattractive, unwanted person. Often used in a self-degrading way. Someone of low intelligence, a Neanderthal.

Man, I made a stupid decision, I'm a parasitic troglodyte.

parasitic troglodyte by sweetswede August 17, 2010

parasitic lifestyle 

An intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.

he lives a parasitic lifestyle and is totaly dependant on his Babys momma

parasitic lifestyle by pub10der November 5, 2013

parasitic friend 

A "friend" who really isn't a friend at all, but rather assumes that they are your friend and becomes very needy and dependent on you because you are their only "friend" they have.

Friend 1: You're driving Kayla to and from school for the rest of the year?
Friend 2: ....Yeah...
Friend 1: I thought you hated her!
Friend 2: She's a parasitic friend

parasitic friend by HollaShawty May 26, 2010

Parasitic Troglodyte

A repulsive, grotesque person of the male species. One who specializes at repelling females, and making people around them vomit uncontrollably. Usually smells like the inside of a hobo's butt, or two skunks fighting over some mushy poop.

Adam, Charlie, and Matt just walked in and everyone started puking. They are hideous and they stink, what a bunch or parasitic troglodytes.

Parasitic Troglodyte by smallandwimpy November 4, 2011

parasitic groping pretzel tree

: an exceptionally advanced cuddling position involving two persons and a spectator. The first person involved, lying on their back, must have one leg between the other person’s legs, wrapping their remaining leg--the far outside leg--around the three already intertwined. The second participant tightly wraps their torso on top of first person’s side, while snuggling their head into the décolletage or chest area. The first person’s arms are generally stretched around the second person’s waist and back, firmly supporting their contorted position and clutching them as closely as possible; and, the second person’s arms are up-stretched and wound around the chest and neck area of the first person. Ideally, the second person in this position should have minimal contact with the bed—a hip at most. This position is generally most effective in the dark where the role of the spectator is to remain to the side, burning with curiosity.

B: What's going on over there?

C: We're having a parasitic groping pretzel tree.

A: *muffled chuckling*

parasitic groping pretzel tree by C0S0f0N0 November 23, 2010

parasitic twin 

In medical circles can refer to twin reversed arterial perfusion, or a subset of conjoint (siamese) twins. Two fetusii develop conjoined, but one (the parasite) does not fully develop and is wholly dependent on his host brother.

In team management refers to a redundant slacker who performs an identical, complete subset of the effort performed by a more capable worker.

a: we have the same job! we're like siamese twins!

b: nah, I do twice as much. you're a parasitic twin

parasitic twin by justsomerandomdude October 14, 2009