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Not a thing 

dismissing an idea using "thing" to replace words like "problem" or "issue".
janet: oh, brad, i'm sorry! i slept with rocky!
brad: don't worry about it. it's not a thing.
Not a thing by Flakey Tart October 21, 2010

That's not a thing 

Phrase used to denote frustration with or to dismiss a concept or notion that either

A.) Makes no sense
B.) Is not widely known
C.) Does not exist
Person 1: I heard you were sick, what do you have? Chicken pox? Measles? Armenian Bird Flu?
Person 2: Wha-? That's not a thing

Person 1: This new body lotion I have works by activating the fourth and third chakras
Person 2: That's not even a thing
That's not a thing by BlackMan646 February 5, 2010

That's not even a thing 

Thought to have originated from the "That 70's Show" quote "...is that a thing?". Highschooler Joshua MacLatchie coined this phrase to mean you are absolutely sure that isn't even a real thing.

This also predates Seinfeld because fuck physics.
Ex:

Zach: I totally dunked my balls in her ass last night, shit was so cash.

Shim-sham: That's not even a thing.

not doin a damn thing

The act of not doing anything or having a bad time.

Not included in any activities at the moment or time.
Not doin a damn thing- to be bored to have little to nothing to do

i have nothing to do at all, im having a bad time. I aint doin a damn thing which is being bored. I think my friends at the movies tho.

not having a shittin' damn thing 

a state for the 'living-challenged'! whistling for money hasn't worked out, neither has the shaking of the ass! -being floated is a 'dead end street', so how does one survive??

these are all considerations for the 'damned' one; 'not having a shittin' damn thing'. this is real fun to accuse friends of, too: they go, huh? -you can even add that old college flair by changing it to: you aint'snt gotta shittin' damn thing! one MUST be able to 'speak to impress' when dealing with employers, 'officials', little lord fauntleroys, etc...

were a 'lingual translator' actually to 'pick the statement apart', it would probably loosely be translated thus; you are such a douche-bag you can't even produce a turd. -throwing in 'damn' sort of colors the statement, or perhaps curses or dooms the scenario.

the beauty of the statement is its' final verbal polish on the tongue! it just rolls off like a fine wine sauce, plus! you get to sound highly educated!! -so, how can you lose? such a win-win situation for all!... -the stuffed-shirts all go huh? and the 'hop-heads' all nod approvingly!! ('shittin' can be replaced with 'shitting' for graduate students!!)
she wasn't used to not having a shittin' damn thing, and had to cut him loose!

get wise! you aint'snt gotta shittin' damn thing!

he accused his friend of not having a shitting damn thing!