by Your King, Your all my bitches November 30, 2013
Apparently a very misunderstood religion. Lets get the easy stuff out of the way first: "Mormon" becasuse they have ANOTHER TESTAMENT of JC titled "The Book of Mormon"; they only people practicing polygamy are "fundementalist Mormons" who are not associated with the Mormon Religion at all (Mormons are not polygamists); Actual name of the Church is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, LDS for short; and last of all not all of them wear name tags or ride bikes.
Now Joseph Smith (founder) is believed to be a prophet, like moses or ezikiel. He is not worshiped only respected. They still have a prophet to day, who serves until he dies and then the next in line is chosen. He is believed to have been guided by a prophet from the past to a set of golden plates hidden in the woods of new york 100s of years ago. He excavated them, translated them and found them to COMPLIMENT the Bible not contridict it. And through many periods of Divine instruction formed what him and his followers belived to be the closest religion to what JC had when he was in Israel. The BoM does not contridict the bible except to those who interpret it to do so.
Church. They only go for Three hours each sunday, where they recieve instruction from each other not one assigned preacher. As well as partake of the sacrament, very similar to many other christian religions. During the week each age group has and Activity. (i.e. youth, adults, children) designed to enhance brotherhood and faith. Thats it.
Missions. A mission is a religous assignment from the chuch to spread their beliefs. Like many religions do conicidently. All are volutary. The missionary (can be man, women, elderly couple) chooses to go, pays for the whole she-bang and serves his/her time "tracting". They knock on your door and ask you if you want to hear about their church. 99% of all doors knocked on are by referal. (Actually is church policy now I think). So instead of taking it out on these youngmen and women take it out on your friends that probably gave them your name and address. A mission does not have to be served to go to heaven.
Heaven. They believe in three main divisions of heaven: telestial, terestial, and celestial. The equivelant of hell is "outer darkness" the only people who go there are those who know about god and jc and completely reject them as false. ALL others, really all of them (murders, war lords, hate mongers) have a place in one of the levels of heaven. All are paradisical in nature (except outer darkness which is exactly what it sounds like). In the lowest level you will find you hitlers, mureders and such. The second "good" people thats most of us. And last of all the top Celestial, where god himself resides. Those former mortals that live here are god like in all aspects. Advancement is possible, but you can only go up not down.
Big families. Can't really explain this one, they just like to fuck i guess. After marriage ofcourse.
Fact more mormons live in california than in utah. Another fact some world headquarter buildings are in las vegas. Although a high percentage of the population in Utah is mormon it is increasingly smaller every year.
Temples. They are not churches for regular worship. A certain degree of worhtiness must be established before entering. ( a simple interview with a leader about their lifestyle all taken on their word) The reason being is it is a model of heaven as they believe it. Also mormon sealings, not weddings, ocur here. Meaning the family is sealed together for all time and eternity so as to guaruntee there being together in heaven. And yes by proxy dead people can be sealed to living families. Oh and you have to be atleast 18 to enter unless you are a child being sealed to a parnet or a youth (12-17) that are performing proxt baptisms for the dead.
Baptism. Pretty much your run of the mill submersion into water. John the Baptist type of deal. Usually done at eight which is the age determined for a child to make his/her own informed decision ( as biased as it may be).
Over all beliefs> Treat others how you want to be treated, the heaven thing, THE BIBLE ( yes the no shit king james version bible), and any other testiment of JC (including but not limited to the BoM), Families are forever, all basic christian belief. And yes they are christian.
Sorry to burst all of those ignorant bubbles out there but Mormons are no more a cult that the baptists, presbytirian, methodist, Catholics, etc etc. just a normal christian faith with a less than normal beginning.
Don't get me wrong there are a few really pushy mormon assholes out there but there are a lot of pushy assholes from every religious sect out there.
Now Joseph Smith (founder) is believed to be a prophet, like moses or ezikiel. He is not worshiped only respected. They still have a prophet to day, who serves until he dies and then the next in line is chosen. He is believed to have been guided by a prophet from the past to a set of golden plates hidden in the woods of new york 100s of years ago. He excavated them, translated them and found them to COMPLIMENT the Bible not contridict it. And through many periods of Divine instruction formed what him and his followers belived to be the closest religion to what JC had when he was in Israel. The BoM does not contridict the bible except to those who interpret it to do so.
Church. They only go for Three hours each sunday, where they recieve instruction from each other not one assigned preacher. As well as partake of the sacrament, very similar to many other christian religions. During the week each age group has and Activity. (i.e. youth, adults, children) designed to enhance brotherhood and faith. Thats it.
Missions. A mission is a religous assignment from the chuch to spread their beliefs. Like many religions do conicidently. All are volutary. The missionary (can be man, women, elderly couple) chooses to go, pays for the whole she-bang and serves his/her time "tracting". They knock on your door and ask you if you want to hear about their church. 99% of all doors knocked on are by referal. (Actually is church policy now I think). So instead of taking it out on these youngmen and women take it out on your friends that probably gave them your name and address. A mission does not have to be served to go to heaven.
Heaven. They believe in three main divisions of heaven: telestial, terestial, and celestial. The equivelant of hell is "outer darkness" the only people who go there are those who know about god and jc and completely reject them as false. ALL others, really all of them (murders, war lords, hate mongers) have a place in one of the levels of heaven. All are paradisical in nature (except outer darkness which is exactly what it sounds like). In the lowest level you will find you hitlers, mureders and such. The second "good" people thats most of us. And last of all the top Celestial, where god himself resides. Those former mortals that live here are god like in all aspects. Advancement is possible, but you can only go up not down.
Big families. Can't really explain this one, they just like to fuck i guess. After marriage ofcourse.
Fact more mormons live in california than in utah. Another fact some world headquarter buildings are in las vegas. Although a high percentage of the population in Utah is mormon it is increasingly smaller every year.
Temples. They are not churches for regular worship. A certain degree of worhtiness must be established before entering. ( a simple interview with a leader about their lifestyle all taken on their word) The reason being is it is a model of heaven as they believe it. Also mormon sealings, not weddings, ocur here. Meaning the family is sealed together for all time and eternity so as to guaruntee there being together in heaven. And yes by proxy dead people can be sealed to living families. Oh and you have to be atleast 18 to enter unless you are a child being sealed to a parnet or a youth (12-17) that are performing proxt baptisms for the dead.
Baptism. Pretty much your run of the mill submersion into water. John the Baptist type of deal. Usually done at eight which is the age determined for a child to make his/her own informed decision ( as biased as it may be).
Over all beliefs> Treat others how you want to be treated, the heaven thing, THE BIBLE ( yes the no shit king james version bible), and any other testiment of JC (including but not limited to the BoM), Families are forever, all basic christian belief. And yes they are christian.
Sorry to burst all of those ignorant bubbles out there but Mormons are no more a cult that the baptists, presbytirian, methodist, Catholics, etc etc. just a normal christian faith with a less than normal beginning.
Don't get me wrong there are a few really pushy mormon assholes out there but there are a lot of pushy assholes from every religious sect out there.
An example would be that mormon kid at your school who you would never know he was mormon unless you asked him because he has none of the trademarks (666, horns, tail, baggy eyes from attending late night cult gatherings). Just a normal kid, perhaps even a friend, doing his best to get to heaven, like so many of you poor opiated souls out there.
by JS agnostic August 7, 2006
Someone who is a little annoyed about people's entries on mormon in the urban dictionary and would advise all who read this not to waste their time reading the following pathetic prejudices and/or the equally useless attempts at defending one's religion in a website that is supposed to be about fun, urban slang.
Normal Mormon Kid 1: Why the flip are you wasting your time reading this example? Go work on your research essay!... or hug your mom, or something.
by kablushka March 29, 2010
A very missunderstood religion, i don't even fullly understand it. They are just trying to be the best person they pssibly can be.(no booze or dope involved...) They're generally very honest, wonderful people, not bible huggers or bangers. Those who go on missions have not been brain washed or hypmotized, they simply believe so strongly in something they are willing to give 2 years of their life to try and spread it to anyone who will listen. I'm not a mormon, but my best friend is and there isn't a better person in the world. They truly don't get enough credit and get bad-mouthed a lot, leave 'em alone and let them in, you might end up meeting someone more than worth it to you.
Mormon: *Knock Knock* "Hey, I'm Eric and I'd like to tell you about 'The Book Of Mormon'".
Door answerer: "Hey! oh, cool, come on in! coffee?"
Door answerer: "Hey! oh, cool, come on in! coffee?"
by KayMarie March 7, 2005
Mormon, or LDS are not, as others have said, a cult or brainwashed. Being myself a Mormon I know this, unlike other so-called Mormons who obviously don't know what they're talking about! Okay let's start easy.
Firstly, we don't do polygamy. Yes, it was practiced in the olden days but then a prophet was told that we should not and so we don't practice polygamy anymore. There is another branch of Mormons that still do practice polygamy, but they're not associated with the church.
Okay, a prophet is kind of like a pastor. He's the leader of the church and he receives revelation from God. That doesn't mean others can't receive it, but that will be personal to the person.
No, we're not brainwashed. Those who are of the church fully believe in it, just like people of other faiths believe. We do have missionaries who go and preach the gospel. The boys can go when they're 18 and, though strongly encouraged, do not HAVE to go. Also, I've heard people say that they have to pay for it themselves. This is true, but if you can't come up with all the money, the church will make up the rest. Girls can go when they're 19.
Another thing that really peeves me: homosexuality. Okay, Mormons. Do. Not. Hate. Gays. We love them just like anybody else. We simply believe that marriage was made to be between a man and a woman and, while not condoning it, we don't hate gays/lesbians.
I hope this has helped with your knowledge of Mormons. More to follow.
Firstly, we don't do polygamy. Yes, it was practiced in the olden days but then a prophet was told that we should not and so we don't practice polygamy anymore. There is another branch of Mormons that still do practice polygamy, but they're not associated with the church.
Okay, a prophet is kind of like a pastor. He's the leader of the church and he receives revelation from God. That doesn't mean others can't receive it, but that will be personal to the person.
No, we're not brainwashed. Those who are of the church fully believe in it, just like people of other faiths believe. We do have missionaries who go and preach the gospel. The boys can go when they're 18 and, though strongly encouraged, do not HAVE to go. Also, I've heard people say that they have to pay for it themselves. This is true, but if you can't come up with all the money, the church will make up the rest. Girls can go when they're 19.
Another thing that really peeves me: homosexuality. Okay, Mormons. Do. Not. Hate. Gays. We love them just like anybody else. We simply believe that marriage was made to be between a man and a woman and, while not condoning it, we don't hate gays/lesbians.
I hope this has helped with your knowledge of Mormons. More to follow.
by Mormon101 December 6, 2013
Bro Chris gave a "mormon" explanation for why he didnt clean off the keyboard.
or
Brother Joseph is "mormoning" his way out of a circle jerk, once again
or Elder Kirkpatrich "mormoned" his way out of "dusting the pine" with The Troop
"uuhhhhhhhh welllllll, ha ha ya knowww..."
or
Brother Joseph is "mormoning" his way out of a circle jerk, once again
or Elder Kirkpatrich "mormoned" his way out of "dusting the pine" with The Troop
"uuhhhhhhhh welllllll, ha ha ya knowww..."
by Jsmithstersaltlakemomo July 4, 2009
A very nice, generous, misunderstood group of non-gay, mostly white people. They don't practice polygamy or have multiple wives except after death where men can have as many wives as they want. They try to do the best they can in life. They're not perfect and don't think they're perfect unless but they do think they are better than non-Mormons. They strive to work hard and get through life without much trouble. They don't put down other religions, at least not to your face. They don't think you'll go to hell unless you're gay or you're in a different religion. They believe everyone has a chance to have eternal salvation, except the gays, and that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are two separate beings, and that Christ created the Earth for straight Mormons only. They think they're Christian. They don't think Joseph Smith (the translator of the book of Mormon) is a god, just equal with Jesus. They also believe he is a prophet of God. They aren't here to overtake the world, even though their doctrine says they are. They try to allow everyone who would like to hear about their church to hear about it. And they also try to allow everyone who would NOT like to hear about it, hear about it as well. They understand that it's your choice to join or not and they don't force it upon you. However, they'll force you to join once you're dead so why fight it now? I know these things are true and I say them in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Despite what you might have heard from the Mormons, they actually do love gay people, as long as they stop being gay.
by fuckpuppy February 14, 2011