Mojang 

Most best known as the company that created the popular game, Minecraft.

Gamer 1: Dammit!

Gamer 2: What happened?

Gamer 1: A stupid creeper blew up my minecraft house! Why did Mojang have to put creepers in this game?

Mojang by Creeperssuck5150 April 27, 2012

Mojang 

Pronuciation: Moujang
The only Company that will apear on an "Unhated Videogame Companies Anual Meeting" and the creators of Minecraft.

I love Mojang

Mojang by Wixkslfjdkfirjeje May 10, 2022

Mojang Support

Mojang Support, also known as Minecraft Support, is one of the worst customer services you will ever find out there for a multibillion company like Mojang. With a response time of many weeks to even months and useless, lazy, POS that can't even do their job as support agents, they are an absolute disgrace to Minecraft and Microsoft.

If you do actually get a response from these assholes, they will almost always try to come up with an excuse not to help you with your Java account related issue, claiming their policy doesn't allow whatever you specifically asked them to do, even if the official website says otherwise. Because of this, people deliberately resubmit their support tickets hoping to get a reply from a different representative that actually has a brain and can understand English, which isn't always feasible given the long response time and the large number of incompetent idiots with account administration tools that Mojang is paying to do nothing but give canned responses...

Example 1:
Player: My account got hacked into, please help me recover it!
*Two months later*
Mojang Support: Please locate your Transaction ID from 10 years ago and provide a long list of information that you most likely don't have, and then we might help you!
Player: I finally got everything you asked for, can you help me now?
Mojang Support: Sorry for the inconvenience, but for security reasons I am not going to touch your account!
*Support Agent closes the ticket without notifying the player or sending a "Rate Our Support email"*
*Player submits the ticket again and hopes to get a reply from another support agent by the next month*

Example 2:
Player: One of my past usernames has my real life full name in it, it is personally identifiable information and because name history is public, I would like to have that particular name removed! The website says you remove usernames in such cases, if they contain personally identifiable info.
*Two months later*
Mojang Support: Sorry for the inconvenience, but we can only remove past usernames if they contain a full first and last name!
*Support Agent closes the ticket without notifying the player or sending a "Rate Our Support email"*
Player: Can you even read what I said 8 weeks ago, you stupid fucking dumbass? This is a serious issue!
*Player submits the ticket again and hopes to get a reply from another support agent by the next month*

Mojang Support by 14142 February 18, 2021

Mojang Support

A tumor slowly growing within Mojang Studios and an absolute disgrace to the gaming industry as a whole. Those who work at Mojang Support are stupid idiots not capable of anything and are just there to receive money from Mojang for doing little to no work. The response time is unacceptable, often lasting for months, and you are very likely to have your ticket ignored and silently closed in the process. If you do get a response, you will usually be assigned to a trash support rep that will pretend not to understand your issue and provide useless canned responses instead. Due to their incompetence and lack of ability to read and understand an email, it is impossible to reason or argue with any of them and they might just close the ticket as resolved. These people also like to use pseudonyms to refer to themselves as they don't have the balls to use their actual name in the ticket. I wonder why...

Please share this page with as many people as you can. The Minecraft community deserves to know that the product they are paying for comes with no customer support!

Player 1: I just contacted Mojang Support. When will I hear back from them?
Player 2: Mojang Support? You are more likely to hear back from Santa Claus instead!
Player 3: Fuck Mojang Support! Their whole crew can suck my dick!

Mojang Support by 14142 March 29, 2021

Mojang’d

When something gets screwed up, doesn’t work as it should, goes wrong, can’t be fixed, it’s mojang’d.

I tried to migrate my profile & realms from Minecraft to Nintendo Switch. The website & password reset doesn’t even work or respond. Totally mojang’d.

I was coming home the other day & my radiator blew & I got a flat tyre. Totally mojang’d.

Mojang’d by TheRealSanchez December 26, 2020

Mojang Developer 

An extremely lazy human being who gets exhausted to the brink of death if told to work on their game for over 3 minutes each month. Typically spends all of their time either sleeping or watching the twitter complain about them 24/7 for their lack of doing their own job

Person 1:"Whats your Job?"

Person 2: "I'm a Mojang developer!"

Person 1: "End yourself"

Mojang Developer by Infantpuncher February 15, 2024

'Pulling a Mojang' 

1 When you give your children their birthday presents in two-installments over the course of 8 months.

2 When you taunt your children with birthday presents two, often three years before you intend to give them their birthday presents.

I was totalling 'Pulling a Mojang' on my kids the other year. I told them in the fall of 2019 they were getting their coolest birthday presents ever. Too bad they don't know they're actually getting them in the winter of 2022.

'Pulling a Mojang' by mojangdetractor81 October 18, 2021