Enjoyed throughout Wisconsin, Miniature Tanks is a groin grabbingly good time where a group of
people, either arranged in rows (facing each other), or in a large circle (facing inwards) get on their hands and knees, shoulder to shoulder.
Everyone marches forwards on the ground, hilariously running into each other. The object of the game is to reach the opposite side of where you are standing, but you cannot stop the
motion of the
tank.
If you fall over, keep swinging your arms and legs and continue to chant "MI-NI(a)-TURE TANKS".
People get walked over, head-butted and bruised, but it's kickass and dammit, it'll put
hair on your chest.
Works well in grassy open areas, narrow hallways, and crowded intersections.
The
war drums beckon through the valleys with a strength that only the words "Miniature Tanks" (mi-ni-churr TANKS)
may follow. Again and again, these heroes among men chant to instill
fear, pregnancy, and maybe a bowel movement or
two to all those who are unfortunate enough to witness the carnage that is soon to follow.
Ready you'
re not, here they come... as the chanting begins, the herd lurches onward; leaving a new desolate wasteland (mostly padded
grass) in their wake. The amalgamations of such forces often cause Richter scale readings of 6.3-7.1 to Beijing, Shanghai, and all surrounding provinces.
Battered forces often appear belly-up, clutching spleens, or showered in the figurative blood of their peers. Those who remain upright
roll onwards with
pride, thirsting for the undeniable quench of another round. Miniature Tanks takes the lives of the weak, and instills character in those who survive.