Mexican Crosswalk 

The sloppiest most disorganized gang bang you've ever seen. Nobody’s even sure where this lady came from. Is it even a woman? Did anybody check? There's a steady stream of people coming in and out of the room. Somebody is barbecuing ribs in the corner. A chicken walks through. Who brought a t-shirt gun? Two dogs wrestle over a turkey bone shaped like Lance Armstrong's fat sister and one gives up to take a shit on the carpet. There's a raffle draw for Single A baseball tickets. In the far corner a be-mulleted Peruvian musician with not enough teeth sings a barely passable Spanish version of Come On Eileen to two homely yet (slightly) moist 50-year-old twin sisters from Wisconsin, etc, etc

Named after the pure pandemonic crosswalk experience of Mexico City where simply crossing the road is a messy adventure in every step. Pedestrians are targets. Red lights are merely advisory. A chicken walks through. A toddler holding a partially eaten cob of corn is crying… or possibly choking?? Two seniors stop mid-street to dance to some music that has too many horns in it. Did I just step over an original Atari game console covered in sticky lotion? A guy with a cart full of heavy-duty safes, faucet heads and typewriters goes window to window of stopped cars to try and see if anybody needs to buy a heavy-duty safe, faucet head or typewriter, etc, etc

Guy 1: Hey, when I left the party last night the only people left were the lacrosse team and that old librarian from eastern Russia. How'd the night end?

Guy 2: *sigh* You'd never believe it but it turned into a bit of a Mexican Crosswalk...

Mexican Crosswalk by Dr Thwack February 18, 2019