Intellectual activity that serves no practical purpose.
We debated and created a perfect system of government, but it was all just mental masturbation, really.
by Ryan February 17, 2005
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The act of engaging in useless yet intellectually stimulating conversation, usually as an excuse to avoid taking constructive action in your life.
Guy 1: "If only I had taken Cindy to my high school prom, I could have fucked her instead of that loser Jeff and then now she would be my girlfriend."

Guy 2: "Dude, stop that mental masturbation right now and go out and meet a new girl!"
by SweetP April 12, 2005
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The act of looking up the term "Mental Masturbation". You should have better things to do. Now go do it! Geez!!!
I knew I was wasting time thinking about things that didn't amount to anything useful. So I wondered if I was the only. I looked up "Mental Masturbation" and confirmed it.
by XAlterEgoX October 20, 2015
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Intellectual activity that serves no practical purpose. Excessively theoretical, and therefore a distraction from more practicable matters.
Dr. Richard Dawkins, noted biological theorist, in response to a student's philosophical question about skeptical attitudes towards science and reality, cited the following anecdote:

<paraphrasing>
James Boswell asked, "... nothing really exists unless there's somebody there to see it. How do you refute that?" Samuel Johnson replied, "I refute it thus!", and kicked a stone out of his way.
<\paraphrasing>

Dr. Dawkins, commenting on Boswell's question, and critiquing the attitude: "If you want to mess about with that sort of mental masturbation, thats fine, but, ... but the science of reality is what gets you through the day, ... and makes things work!"
by The Practical Atheist December 12, 2009
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Term used by visionless people for the groundbreaking ideas that will shape the future.
What? A box that can carry voices on a wire to another box on the other side of the world? Dude, that is just mental masturbation.
by Pipe Downn March 19, 2013
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This is usually announced or thought of after seeing a girl who is distractingly attractive. The act of explaining you like the looks of a girl enough to masturbate too.
See, she's hot dude I'm going to ask her out.

Yea I'm masturbating in my head to her.

I fucking hate you.

I'm still masturbating in my head to her. Still not done, not done, Alright I'm done. I'm going to go make a sandwich. Good Mental Masturbation. Actually, you want to go to Chipotle?

Not with you.

Thats douchey.
by gordon getty November 13, 2011
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The act of figuring out why the world is fucked up, but that you can't do anything about it... but bitch and moan!!!

See Intellectual Jizz
I know what to do about the middle east situation

Dude stop. That is just Mental Masturbation.
by Equites April 09, 2004
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