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Masturbation is a healthy excercise which is done by(and this is a fact)94% of male population and 70% of female population. Nicknames:five-finger shuffle,mastering the joystick,answering the bone-a-phone,stroking the salami,bobbing your balogna,choking the chickem,punishing the pigman,Erupting ol' faithful,pummeling the puppet, so on and so forth...
Guy: Masturbation is the greatest
Friend: I no man i punished the pied piper 7 times last night
Guy: pShhhhh i stroke the salami 24!
by Hans Schcwarz January 27, 2007
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One of the greatest joys in life. Discovered (hopefully) when you go through puberty.
Andrew Dice Clay: Masturbation is king. Oh yeah, you know it, I know it so who are we bullshittin'?
by tenaciousd6936 August 19, 2006
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What your 12 year old Son or Daughter starts doing once their showers go from 5 minutes to 45 minutes in length.
Make sure everyone in the house doesnt need to take a poop before you start your Masturbation session!
by Itakelongshowers May 05, 2010
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The use of improvisational means to obtain sexual gratification in the absence of a partner.

Because the word "masturbation" sounds kind of boring, people have come up with an absurd amount of euphemisms for what is essentially sex without a partner.
I tried to look up "masturbation" on UD, but the constant use of euphemisms and the lack of a real definition drove me crazy.
by Anonymous debunker of myths October 16, 2009
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Sex with someone I love.
- Woody Allen
Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love.

Woody Allen in Annie Hall, 1977
by mandingoe November 07, 2005
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