Monkey's 

From monkey's arse. A more polite way of saying that you don't give a fuck/shit. Often used on television programmes shown before nine.

Hollie: Ruddy Hell! You're such a muppit.
Tom: I don't give a monkey's what you think.

Monkey's by Lalalaura August 9, 2005

Monkey's 

Ugly as in a hat full of Monkey's Assholes.

She's monkey's as shit man.

Monkey's by Slimo September 20, 2005

Monkey's Wedding 

When it's raining and sunny out at the same time, it's known as a Monkey's Wedding. Unrelated to Monkey's Uncle.

A monkey's wedding is amazing. I want to go.

Monkey's Wedding by Yates Fan 4 Life August 20, 2011

monkey's headbutt 

When one unsheathes one's erect male member, and whips it forward, with the intention of striking a blow on the victim's forehead with the engorged bell-end.

"Listen love, tuck it in or I'll give you a right ol' monkey's headbutt"

monkey's headbutt by Davian Dent December 3, 2015

monkey's paw 

Every exceedingly positive thing has an exceedingly negative consequence.

Monkey's paw: The internet allowed you to see Daicon IV. The internet allowed for a group of retards to call it Ready Player One-tier.

monkey's paw by sanq January 18, 2019

monkey's wedding 

when it is raining and the sun is shinning

it's a monkey's wedding outside

monkey's wedding by Jade Bezuidenhout January 1, 2007

Monkey's Blowjob 

You hang upside down using your legs on a bar while your partner has their dick ready to be sucked. You grab his waist to force his dick into your upside down mouth. Staying upside down for long isn't a good idea so make sure you take breaks every time after he cums. This probably improves leg strength?

Bob: Oh hey dude my GF just gave me a Monkey's Blowjob!
Walter: Damn her legs must be pretty strong
Bob: Hell yeah they are
Walter: Thigh guy.

Monkey's Blowjob by SomeInternetDweeb May 8, 2023