A guy that really likes ham and Lincoln logs. He was a president, for some reason. He might have gone to a play to show the biggest Lincoln log tower and it not falling over, and putting ham sandwiches between each piece and eating the ham sandwiches without it falling over. Then, John Walks Booth said that Lincoln didn't go through the walking booth. So John Walks Booth assassinated him, making the tower fall.
Abra-Ham Lincoln Log: AND TODAY I WILL EAT THESE HAM SANDWICHES!!!
John Walks Booth: Wait a minute! You didn't get a Walking Ticket from the Walking Booth!
Abra-Ham Lincoln Log: I-I don't need one if I'm on stag-
John Walks Booth: I don't wanna hear it! "pulls out his glock"
Abra-Ham Lincoln Log: WAIT WAIT WAIT, NO WE CAN WORK THIS OUT!! I'LL GET A TICKE-"Gets shot"
Abra-Ham Lincoln Log after dead: Damn It, I was gonna get the world record for most sandwiches eaten between Lincoln logs.
John Walks Booth: Wait a minute! You didn't get a Walking Ticket from the Walking Booth!
Abra-Ham Lincoln Log: I-I don't need one if I'm on stag-
John Walks Booth: I don't wanna hear it! "pulls out his glock"
Abra-Ham Lincoln Log: WAIT WAIT WAIT, NO WE CAN WORK THIS OUT!! I'LL GET A TICKE-"Gets shot"
Abra-Ham Lincoln Log after dead: Damn It, I was gonna get the world record for most sandwiches eaten between Lincoln logs.
by AStrunkMan69 July 4, 2022
If Hailey and Lincoln are dating there the best couple on the entire world and are an amazing couple and they love eachother so much
by HaileysHotTbh May 9, 2022
When you do it doggy style and jizz on the back of her/his head without their knowledge.
Specifically done when your girl/guy wants a quickie in a crowded place such as a mall or theater.
Specifically done when your girl/guy wants a quickie in a crowded place such as a mall or theater.
"Yeah man, I just gave her The Lincolning in the bathroom and people keep asking her why her hair is wet!"
"Brad gave me The Lincolning at my parents 25th anniversary dinner and then dumped me."
"Brad gave me The Lincolning at my parents 25th anniversary dinner and then dumped me."
by BunnyLa69 March 28, 2023
by Anonymous Alligator January 15, 2022
A statue people hail like a chief while they try and get all the Confederate ones removed. Washington owned slaves and so far nobody has suggested demolishing Washington monument or Mount Rushmore, it would almost seem like terrorism, so what's with the double standard against one kind of statue or monument and not the other?
People treat Abraham Lincoln's statue like the HNIC while they don't respect any symbol of the Confederacy or think it has any right to be there. What's with the double standard, when did one become so good and the other so bad? When the first updated editions of history books were written in 1866?
by The Original Agahnim November 13, 2021
A guy history books (mis)lead people (especially brown people) into believing his intentions were more noble than they actually were. He was from Kentucky (the South) even though Illinois was called the land of Lincoln since that was where he rose to prominence. Had the South won the Civil War, the narrative wouldn't have been that he was a hero, it would have been that he was a traitor, so in order to protect himself, he had to make sure the North won at any cost. The same history books that write that Lincoln was a hero or a great man also write that guys like George Washington and Thomas Jefferson were great men even though they owned slaves.
People seem to forget Abraham Lincoln was a politician and didn't give a fuck about them or future generations of their families, and though it's time the country saw a female president, a female politician would do all the same things as a guy, because she would come from the same human/inhuman race as the male politicians and everyone else, and would be capable of any evil and human weakness a male politician was.
by The Original Agahnim November 13, 2021
by Cheese is pretty epic September 26, 2023