Licence 

When you give to the government (or other authority) what rightly belongs to you, then rent it back.

"I couldn't pay for my licence, so they took my car away and crushed it"

Licence by Frou-Frou April 25, 2020

Licence to Pillage 

1)
A licence presented by kings and queens allowing Pirates to legally and for a salary, plunder other countries navies and opposing pirates or privateers. Essentially its the document permitting and defining one as a privateer.

or
2)
The debut album of the greatest Pirate band ever in the history and future, Wheels of Poseidon.

Sir Francis Drake was given a Licence to Pillage by Queen Elizabeth I of England allowing him to plunder the Spanish navy.

Little Jimmy got a Licence to Pillage in his Christmas stocking one year and was really happy because he really liked pirates.

Licence to Pillage by Shoutin Will Bellamy January 10, 2011

licence to print money 

(n.) A highly profitable business.

Those who bought into the McDonalds franchise years ago have found they now have a licence to print money

licence to print money by Gumba Gumba May 13, 2004

Licence Plate Factory 

Prison

After getting caught for the robbery, Jimmy was sentenced to a two year career at the licence plate factory

Licence Plate Factory by Billmcm1 May 31, 2011

Arse-hole Licence 

If you are a known trouble maker and are regularly mean to people, you can obtain one of these so people can keep track of your unpleasant antics.
This was conceived when it became apparent that Ben Waller was too unpleasant to people, and it was deemed necessary to keep a tab on his bad behaviour by giving him 'Arse-hole points' every time he committed to being mean.
It is possible to remove points from your licence if you do kind and selfless acts, however, just like obesity, it's easier to gain that it is to lose.
Also similar to this is the 'Bitch licence', which works on the same principle but is given to females that deserve it.

Katie: Ben, you've been really mean today, I think you've been quite nasty to me!

Ben: Your face is nasty!

David: Ben, that's another point on your Arse-hole licence. That's four points you've got in the last 20 minutes bringing you to a grand total of nine.

Ben: Awww what?!

Arse-hole Licence by ActiasLuna February 25, 2009

Fartistic Licence 

The art of creatively reshaping the true facts concerning a past release of Carbon Dibaxide

"Mr Darcy, I find it most difficult to credit your assertion that Miss bennet was responsible for the beefy eggo that cleared the dance floor not five minutes ago.. For one thin, the miasma concerned was distinctly reminiscent of the casserole I observed you yourself consuming last night, whereas I have it on good authority that Miss Bennet is a vegetarian. If that was Fartistic Licence, Darcy, then it was dashed bad form."

Fartistic Licence by bromp February 18, 2010

Bishop's Licence

The Bishop's Licence is bestowed upon a gentleman when his wife is down the shops or otherwise engaged away from the house, and confers on him the right, nay, the duty to wank himself blind.

Bloke 1: You coming down the pub, Bruce?

Bloke 2: Nah Bruce, the missus's at her sister's, I've got the Bishop's Licence.

Bishop's Licence by hydraulis November 19, 2011