Kimchi Handjob 

1. When an act of penile masturbation results in the owner of the fleshy appendage feeling "sour" or "spicy" - usually because of mechanically induced hyperkeratosis lesions on the giver (and subsequently on the receiver) of the manual stimulation. This assault on a friendly weapon can result in the penis looking like a plate of kimchi.

2. When one uses Kimchi as lube before doing the five finger knuckle shuffle

1. "Seth went home with that hot chick that works down at the docks and she gave him a kimchi handjob - his monster is raw."

2. "Oh, that mixed smell of fermented napa cabbage, daikon radish, scallions, Korean red pepper powder, fish sauce, fresh ginger, garlic cloves & salted shrimp? Yeah, that's my junk. Last night I got a Kimchi Handjob."

Kimchi Handjob by Dr. Michael Mancini August 30, 2013