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john handcock 

A man who frequents prostitutes (John), but materbates on, or is masterbated by (handcock) the prostitute, rather than having sex with her, as a means of avoiding STDs.
YOU: Hey, John, do you wanna go to the bar?

YOUR BUDDY: No, I'm going to see Sharin' Cocks, that ho down the road.

YOU: Aren't you afraid of AIDS?

YOUR BUDDY: No, I'm a John Handcock.
john handcock by Sex Ed December 8, 2006
Words you can keep

john handcock 

while cumming onto someones face you write your name with the semen. This definition makes sense because your hand is on your cock and there was some guy who signed some piece of shit called the declaration of independence and now he is some hot shot for knowing how to spell his own name, but thats another story.
After fucking for a while max finished it off with a john handcock to commemorate the experience.
john handcock by MW52 December 10, 2008

John Handcock 

v.it., The act of male masturbation whilst seated on a toilet. This term originates from a play on words; one's hand is on one's "cock", thereby conducting the act of masturbation. As this occurs, one is also seated upon a "John", or toilet. Often the physical stimuli of the act itself is inhanced by pressure on the prostate from passing feces.
Jonathan takes fifteen minutes every Saturday morning to treat himself to a John Handcock after checking the markets in the Tribune.
John Handcock by Spack McDrack November 26, 2004

John HandCock 

When ur finished fucking a girl, pull out, cum on her chest, and use ur Hands to sign your name on her chest.
After I paid her a Ben Franklin, I gave her a John HandCock.
John HandCock by The Kid's Killin December 8, 2007

John Hancock 

A signature. Derives from John Hancock's signature, which was written in large letters, on the Declaration of Independence.
Could you please put your John Hancock on this form so that I can turn it in?
John Hancock by rieux November 29, 2003

John Hancock 

(n.) American shipping magnate and possible smuggler who became famous for his role in the American Revolution. He served as President of the Second Continental Congress, was famously a signatory to the Declaration of Independence, and later became the first post colonial governor of Massachusetts. In addition to these accomplishments, Hancock was a prolific author on the subject of masturbation. He wrote several authoritative treatises on the matter (several of which were banned on the orders of George Washington), and famously challenged the widely-held opinion of his fellow Founding Father, Dr. Benjamin Rush, that masturbation caused blindness and hairy palms.
John Hancock was one of America's most illustrious founding fathers and early sex educators.

John Hancock 

One's singnature(John Hancock was the first to sign the Declaration of Independence.)
All checks must have your John Hancock to prove that you wrote them.
John Hancock by Light Joker May 23, 2005
More from Urban Dictionary

Salad Days 

green inexperienced youthful judgement and cold blooded execution of those judgements.

Rashness with little concern of consequence.

Antony and Cleopatra. William Shakespeare

"My salad days,
When I was green in judgment, cold in blood."

- William Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra, 1.5
"How did you end up in jail?"

"Salad days, 'nuf said."
Salad Days by GilbyRFC0 October 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 28, 2026

age gate 

An absolutely foolproof way to keep minors from viewing content deemed "too mature" for them to watch.
Billy: "So I was trying to watch some videos for an M rated game, and I ran into an age gate, so I put in my real birthday. SOMEHOW it managed to figure out that I am 12. CURSE YOU AGE GATE!!!"

Bill: "Fucking age gate! *quick scroll* THERE! I was born on January 1, 1904. Fuck you age gate."
age gate by Banja January 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 27, 2026

board chow 

A)
The Crud that collects under the keys in a keyboard. Usually more severe in the keyboards of programmers and webmasters as they tend to spend a lot of time at the the computer and thus eat at their desk. Mainly affecting IBM Model M (clicly) style boards.

B)
Can also be used to gross out Non-Techie people
A)
Bill: want to go to the club?
Bob: No, I've got to clean out my board chow, keys are starting to stick.

B)
Bill: Want to go out to get a bite?
Bob: No, i am just going to have some of my board chow/
Bill: Whats' that?
Bob: The food scraps that collect in my keyboard; Want some?
Bill: *GAG* *HURL* *GAG*
board chow by BinaryHackerMan September 3, 2007
Word of the Day on August 26, 2026
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