Jesus up on

v.t. to Jesus up on (someone)

1. to startle by appearing out of thin air in a seemingly magical way

I thought I was home alone when suddenly, out of nowhere, my mom Jesused up on me.

Dude, don't Jesus up on me like that.

by amenohi3 May 12, 2010

jesus it up

VERB;tO put Jesus in weird situations
many are found on google images

Jesus Cow
Jesus the Freshmaker
Bowling with Jesus
Chees 'n' Jesus
jESUS haT
Jesus Not Coming Back Press Conference

by the revolution May 05, 2004

When Jesus Wakes up

When something is bound not to happen, or will not begin for a long time.

I'm finna do my home work...... ha, when jesus wakes up.

by DanArc November 25, 2007

Jesus Christ up the asshole

Someone so religious that they would take Jesus' dick up the asshole if the bible said so.

Dude your girlfriend would take Jesus Christ up the asshole before you.

by John OHHH YEAH January 25, 2009

jesus jumped up christ

An expression of your frustration/annoyance towards someone (usually a friend). Not really insulting to your friend, usually they will find it kind of funny and laugh too. But they will get the message that you are a bit annoyed with them.

Jesus jumped up Christ! Why do I get stuck with all the "winners"?

by WordFreak August 17, 2007

Jizzed up Jesus

An insult directed towards long haired males who are acting rowdy, obnoxious and like to jizz every where. Similar to a long haired square except more spherical.

He catapults off of the couch with tremendous force projecting jizz onto the walls which take the shape of white clouds. While jizzing mid air, he is high above all of his peoples and henceforth becomes Jizzed up Jesus.

Blaise just jumped off the couch and jizzed everywhere, what a Jizzed up Jesus.

by dan_gleewang January 02, 2021