When you jerk a dude off by using your two hands and two feet to make him cum on your back and rub it in
by Blixls October 7, 2021
whilst doing a girl doggy, prepare a freshly cut lemon, one half in either hand and as you ejaculate inside her, lean over and thrust the lemons into her eyes, making the love making session very emotional.
by aaron and kristy November 10, 2008
The official term is docuphilia, used to describe a person who is sexual aroused by legal terms and their associated pleonasms. Docuphiliacs or jargon jerkers are known to deviously hoard credit card contracts, legal disclaimers, copyright notices, government signs, and other legal documents, forms & contracts for subsequent and sometimes daily arousal. Docuphilia is a rare disorder having no allegiance to occupation, race, sex, gender, political orientation or creed. (It is a common misconception that most lawyers are docuphiliacs and vice versa.) There is no way to determine whom is a docuphiliac besides recognizing the following symptoms:
i . Excessive maundering and confusion while in the presence of “desirable” legal documents.
ii. Meager but frequent attempts to view a legal document in solitude. WARNING: Agitated docuphiliacs may resort to violence to obtain a desirable document. The docuphiliac may use occupational related excuses in order to achieve this. (Example: I'd better bring this to the boss/I'll read this over for you.) Veteran docuphiliacs express no shame in these blatant attempts. Upon his/her untimely return the docuphiliac will honor the terms of the excuse but often very poorly. Beware.
iii. An excessive collection of framed legal documents and other nicely worded texts throughout the docuphiliacs office.
iv. Hours of satisfaction in fantasizing about word cells to generate new words.
v. Meticulous aversion to informal slang. Which is deemed “undesirable” and “unattractive” by docuphiliacs. (Not necessarily because of it’s improperness.)
One may hear "YES!" "OH YEAH!" "DAMN!" etc orgasmicly exclaimed from your company's paper recycling center or Xerox room if a co-worker is a jargon jerker. Where docuphiliacs are known to search for documents out of desperation.
Until recently docuphiliacs acted individually solely for their own personal leisure, however the docuphilial elite have orchestrated a number of seemingly unrelated lawsuits to induce the literate population into this esoteric disorder. The lawsuits’ modus operandi includes suing large corporations for very frivolous purposes including: becoming obese after eating their food, getting burned after spilling coffee on themselves, etc. The single motive of these lawsuits of course is to force the company to include a legal disclaimer on their product.
If the docuphiliacs continue to proliferate and broaden their beliefs everything ever written will be in legal terms and in their eyes, the docuphiliacs will conquer the world.
A growing number of conspiracies maintain that the government is aware of the docuphilial elite and their sinister motives. They claim, that the government is attempting to crush the movement it by stalling FOIA requests, censoring desirable documents and lessening public involvement with legislation.
DISCLAIMER: You (the reader) agree that by asserting this transmission as true; you fully and willingly acknowledge that you are: 1) A total moron. In rare instances (Example: Cigarette warnings, pharmaceutical warnings, etc.) legal disclaimers are necessary to protect the population from serfdom. To distinguish docuphilial legislation/lawsuits from a necessary one ask yourself: Does this label caution one of true hazards or simply demonstrate how foolish one can be?
i . Excessive maundering and confusion while in the presence of “desirable” legal documents.
ii. Meager but frequent attempts to view a legal document in solitude. WARNING: Agitated docuphiliacs may resort to violence to obtain a desirable document. The docuphiliac may use occupational related excuses in order to achieve this. (Example: I'd better bring this to the boss/I'll read this over for you.) Veteran docuphiliacs express no shame in these blatant attempts. Upon his/her untimely return the docuphiliac will honor the terms of the excuse but often very poorly. Beware.
iii. An excessive collection of framed legal documents and other nicely worded texts throughout the docuphiliacs office.
iv. Hours of satisfaction in fantasizing about word cells to generate new words.
v. Meticulous aversion to informal slang. Which is deemed “undesirable” and “unattractive” by docuphiliacs. (Not necessarily because of it’s improperness.)
One may hear "YES!" "OH YEAH!" "DAMN!" etc orgasmicly exclaimed from your company's paper recycling center or Xerox room if a co-worker is a jargon jerker. Where docuphiliacs are known to search for documents out of desperation.
Until recently docuphiliacs acted individually solely for their own personal leisure, however the docuphilial elite have orchestrated a number of seemingly unrelated lawsuits to induce the literate population into this esoteric disorder. The lawsuits’ modus operandi includes suing large corporations for very frivolous purposes including: becoming obese after eating their food, getting burned after spilling coffee on themselves, etc. The single motive of these lawsuits of course is to force the company to include a legal disclaimer on their product.
If the docuphiliacs continue to proliferate and broaden their beliefs everything ever written will be in legal terms and in their eyes, the docuphiliacs will conquer the world.
A growing number of conspiracies maintain that the government is aware of the docuphilial elite and their sinister motives. They claim, that the government is attempting to crush the movement it by stalling FOIA requests, censoring desirable documents and lessening public involvement with legislation.
DISCLAIMER: You (the reader) agree that by asserting this transmission as true; you fully and willingly acknowledge that you are: 1) A total moron. In rare instances (Example: Cigarette warnings, pharmaceutical warnings, etc.) legal disclaimers are necessary to protect the population from serfdom. To distinguish docuphilial legislation/lawsuits from a necessary one ask yourself: Does this label caution one of true hazards or simply demonstrate how foolish one can be?
i. Philip: "Why was there cum dripping from my credit card contract?"
Bob: "Larry stopped by earlier, he's a total jargon jerker."
ii. Mr. Ruff: "What?! What kind of idiot wouldn't know that coffee is hot?!" *Hmm this disclaimer turns me on...ouch!*
Docuphilial Elitist: *Smirks*
Bob: "Larry stopped by earlier, he's a total jargon jerker."
ii. Mr. Ruff: "What?! What kind of idiot wouldn't know that coffee is hot?!" *Hmm this disclaimer turns me on...ouch!*
Docuphilial Elitist: *Smirks*
by The Affiliate January 13, 2005
I am a piss jerker
by Mr. BlowJangles April 8, 2004
Just as a plant bends toward the sunlight, the male penis will bend permanently toward the favorable hand used when jerking off.
Why does John's penis bend to the left when he's erect? Answer: Because he uses his left hand to jerk off. In other words, he has mad jerker's lean.
by Scrappy777 January 9, 2008
A term used in Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 for those who use the javelin lock on to kill unsuspecting victims. Those who use Javelins on playlists such as Search and Destroy and frequently called this.
Wafflecopter365: OMG DAMN IT, WHAT A JAVELIN JERKER!
Dbagdevin431: HAHA you blow!
Jacksonsboytoy: my gosh... i'm such a Javelin Jerker.
Dbagdevin431: HAHA you blow!
Jacksonsboytoy: my gosh... i'm such a Javelin Jerker.
by dalamo April 4, 2010
The pain in a man's arm after masturbating for an extended period of time, usually in the elbow or wrist.
Person 1: Hey, you down to help me type this essay out? It's due-
Person 2: Can't, bud. I have Jerker's Joint. I need to get some rest.
Person 1: That's disgusting. Why would you tell me that?
Person 2: *puts dominant hand on P1's shoulder* Because my arm hurts.
Person 1: Is this what I think it is?
Person 2: Yes. Yes it is.
Person 2: Can't, bud. I have Jerker's Joint. I need to get some rest.
Person 1: That's disgusting. Why would you tell me that?
Person 2: *puts dominant hand on P1's shoulder* Because my arm hurts.
Person 1: Is this what I think it is?
Person 2: Yes. Yes it is.
by Grudge5678 October 14, 2019