Jenova's Witnesses 

This is my name for the notorious "Final Fantasy House's" "mini-cult." It's a joke on the owners, claiming to be reincarnated Final Fantasy 7 Characters, such as "Jenova," and "Sephiroth." It's also a joke on Jehovas' Witnesses.

I have met some people, who claim to be from the Jenova's Witnesses, and claim Jenova saved them! They reject Jenova's appearance in Final Fantasy 7, being called "The Calamity," and instead calls it a blessing!

Jenova's Witnesses by jrpgkin April 13, 2022

Jenova's Witness 

I didn't really know that someone already made this up but there are two meanings to this.

A. Someone who does the deeds of Jenova of the church of the one winged angel, a group of geeks who are obsessed with a video game.

B. This one I made up myself. Someone who's Played FF7 to the point that you fight either the first Jenova, or the Final.

Jim: You see that dude over there? They say he's a Jenova's Witness.
Jesse: Huh? What the **** does that mean?
Jim: I don't know, but I find it funny.
Jesse: ....

Jenova's Witness by rodneyalcala November 30, 2009

Jehova's Witness 

Foolish, destructive, evil sect.

I was happily married and had two wonderful little boys.
The mother of my first wife "got religion" with the JWs and then brainwashed her daughter to become one.
As an atheist I accept other's ideas, so I went along with the idea and accepted her going to the JW meetings where she was indocrinated into their ideas. However, at the insistence of her local JWs she started to try and convince me to go and become one if them.
I said that I was happily an atheist and that the bible was written by men not God.
From then on things went from bad to worse and I was officially and publicly declared to be The Devil.

We divorced and I am now happily remarried with two lovely girls.

Jehova's Witnesses directly caused the breakup of my marriage and caused two innocent young boys to be subjected to the pain and loss which now, after 30 years still affects my oldest boy.

Jehova's Witneses are evil fools.

Yes! Open the door to the Jehova's Witnesses and tell those fools that their stupid, evil, ignorant ideas caused the breakup of my happy marriage and that I despise and hate them for it and will never forgive them.

Then tell them to fuck off and slam the door in their face.

Jehova's Witness by soreofhing July 7, 2009

Jehova's Witness 

They are not lazy at all because they do all the normal stuff like raise a family, work, go to school and they still manage to get god's word out regurly. AND, it's spelled Jehovah's Witnesses

3 days a week got to religous meetings
5 day a week (or more) work-go to school
24-7 raise a family
any day they get a chance go out door-to-door

Jehova's Witness by Joy Smith July 12, 2005

Jehova's Witness 

Usually spelled Jehovah's Witness. A strict religious group in which members cannot celebrate holidays or birthdays, but rather spend their time going door to door annoying people with their views and beliefs.

John: Hey, someone just knocked on our front door.

Sally: Oh snap! It's the Jehovah's Witnesses again. Go tell them we are atheists.

Jehova's Witness by Jennyknowswhatsup August 1, 2005

Jehova's Witness 

A splinter movement of the Jehovah's Witnesses that considers excess of 'H's to be an abomination before the Lord. Jehovah's Witnesses believe their group to be founded on a spelling error, but Jehova's Witnesses know that is just the sort of blasphemy those H-lovers would resort to.

G: Hey, I have this friend, he's a Jehova's Witness.

M: Are you sure s/he isn't a Jehovah's Witness, and you just can't spell?

G: That's very narrow-minded of you. I'd have thought you of all people would show respect for other people's religions.

M: In that case I'm a Krystiyan.

G: Really? Could you explain for me what you believe?

Jehova's Witness by spooky cactus July 31, 2005

Jehova's Witness 

Also known as J DUB. A religion which grants its members a reason to be lazy and do nothing with their lives nor get involved in anything important as they are serving God, not man.

"I cannot vote because Jehovah's people stand neutral in light of the political world because we serve God and not men."

Funny that because they (some of them) drink and do drugs, have premarital relations etc but yet they won't get involved in politics... laziness?

Jehova's Witness by crazyassbitch September 29, 2004