Either debating/arguing/discussing about things(for more than a short bit of time) that don't matter, or debating/arguing/discussing about things that matter without taking any action.
Examples of "Intellectual Masturbation":

Debating/arguing/discussing about things that don't matter:
Jeremy: did you hear about the new stabbing?
Zoey: yeah, it is really terrible... I wonder why this keeps happening? people in the world... are sometimes so unpredictable.
Jeremy: Yeah... I hear you. I hope nothing like this happens again. Damn... those things are just so awful...

or

Jeremy: So my friend made a theater room in his apartment and they barely watch anything there.
Zoey: I would actually watch stuff in a theater room if I had one.

or

Jeremy: I think League of Legends is better than Dota
Zoey: I think Dota is better than League of Legends
Jeremy: Ok, let's give our full opinion and discuss exactly why we think they way we do.

Debating/arguing/discussing about things that matter without taking any action:
Jeremy: our system is broken... we really need to fix it. People need to be nicer to each other.
Zoey: You are So right. Change has to happen
Jeremy: Anyway... I gotta go to my 9 to 5 job. Wanna watch the new episode of Game of Thrones later?
Zoey: Yeah. Gonna go to study literature, I hope to become a book author. Maybe I'll even write a book about how the world needs to change.
Jeremy: Catch you later!
Zoey: Bye bye!
by JohnSmith532452452 October 21, 2015
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To engage in a passionate discussion with someone you are feicely sttracted to about a subject that fascinates the pair of you intensely, to the point at which one or both participants become sexually aroused.
S: "Human history is a series of revolutions of the modes of production"
J: "Mmm... Keep talking dialectics to me, I'm almost at full mast"
S: "Go play with your means of reproduction"
J: "This is some intense intellectual masturbation"
by Mr. Comrade July 22, 2015
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A conversation with the purpose of confirming or showing off both parties' knowledge in a certain field, without providing new leads or ideas.
They kept jerking each other's brain off in that round of intellectual masturbation about algorithms optimization.
by SollyDMonkey July 4, 2022
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Reading or hearing something one does not understand and dismissing it as useless, calling it "philosophy" as an insult, then falling for every media pronouncement and logical fallacy as being profound or meaningful.
Ayn: To love is to value.

Sam: Huh? You mean you have to pay for it? Philosophy sucks! That's just intellectual masturbation.

Nan: We have to pass the bill to find out what's in it.

Sam: Makes sense to me. That's deep.
by Patriot-X April 25, 2010
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Talking to hear the sound of your own voice. See mental masturbation or bullshit.
He went on and on about how many uses he had for an avacado and a water pik, but we didn't want to hear about that intellectual masturbation
by Bur Seliu June 8, 2006
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Straining your thinking processes repeatedly until you hopefully find resolution in the form of an intellectual orgasm.
Wacking off theory after theory until you come to a head with a solution.
I've been working on this problem continually for some time, and my intellectual masturbation has finally led to resolution.

Jane: Did you get your homework finished?

Dick: I spent last night engaged in intellectual masturbation til I finally was satisfied. It really drained me.
by peckerwould April 25, 2010
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The act of thinking, discussing, and/or philosophizing to no one’s spiritual, mental, or physical benefit, but purely for the sake of one’s own pleasure, intellectual self-satisfaction, and/or pride.

Note: Not all intellectual and philosophical discussion is intellectual masturbation, it only falls under the definition when it doesn’t benefit those in engaged in it, only harms due to wasted time and an artificial satisfaction in one’s self.
I remember when all I would do was engage in intellectual masturbation on Discord. I would use fancy words and blabber all day about philosophy, without actually applying it in any way whatsoever. I just derived pleasure from hearing myself speak about such abstract and complex subjects. What a fool I was.
by Tea76Crumpets796 October 1, 2022
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