I Don't Give Two Shits 

An expression, when said, means you really do not care about what someone is saying, or what's going on around you. Recommended to be said sarcastically.

Shithead Neighbor: Hey Tim!
You: Yeah, hi.
Shithead Neighbor: I won the lottery jackpot yesterday! 40 million dollars for me!
You: Well guess what? I don't give two shits if you win 40 million, or 40 cents. Get the fuck out of my face please.

I Don't Give Two Shits by ChronicClub August 18, 2016

I don't give two shits 

Way of saying, I really could care less for this shit, and shut the fuck up. Wrapped up in one little phrase.

Dude #1: Hey, can you go water my plants while I'm gone?

Dude #2: I don't give two shits about your damn plants!

I don't give two shits by Waffleboy2c7 March 27, 2010

I don't give two and a half shits 

You really, REALLY don't care about what someone just told you.

Brody: Hey, I just found this really funny video I wanna show you, it's about this-

Ryan: I don't GIVE two and a half shits, alright?!

I don't give two and a half shits by MCGONN June 17, 2009

I don't give two and a half shits 

Combining a reference to two and a half men and the fact that you care so little about what the other person's saying.

-Hey, guess what I was doing last night?
-You know what? I don't give two and a half shits!

I don't give two and a half shits by Deathgleaner May 24, 2010