The chorus teacher at New Paltz Middle School, Mr. Halpern appears to be 14 but according to our very reliable sources is actually 28. Tall, awkward and very nerdy, Mr. Halpern uses finger-guns more than the average twelve-year-old. His first name is William, but all students should know not to call him that to his face.

"Who's that really tall eight grader?" "Oh, that's just Mr. Halpern."

Mr. Halpern by i_am_the_dolphin October 22, 2020

pulling a halverson

To jack off at least 4 times a day, even when you're at your grandmothers house.

Sierra said to Regina, "Hey, looks like he's pulling a halverson again today! At least it isn't at school this time."

pulling a halverson by thefreshmenwhomakeoutinthehall April 30, 2011

William Halpern

New Paltz middle school quire teacher who claims he is fourteen, but some sources point towards him being twenty-eight. Tall, awkward and a little geeky, Mr. Halpern uses finger-guns more than the average twelve-year-old. He has been depicted artistically as both a llama and a dinosaur, and both fit him very well.

"Who's that awkward eight grader?" "Oh, that's William Halpern."

William Halpern by i_am_the_dolphin October 22, 2020

Halpern

A person who you can blame anything on in order to not get in trouble by your parents.

Mom- "Son, I found this bag of pot in your room today"
Son- "Oh Mom, That isn't mine. Halpern was over here and was smoking pot, I'm sorry"
Mom- "Thank Heavens! I always knew you were a good boy. Oh, and that Halpern is not welcome here anymore!"

Halpern by Bluntsnakes December 30, 2010

halpern

someone who is laid back and well known for people being able to confront with their problems

I need to talk to someone about my problems...where is a halpern when you need it?

halpern by CHILIZZZNUM1 June 11, 2006

halvening

What a creepto cultist calls the event when creepto mining rewards are halved. Every cult needs its cult terminology, and this is one of those terms. See also HODL for "hold", and calling any dump phase (of a pump and dump scam) a "Flash Crash".

Anyone who's not a creepto cultist would call the event a halving of the mining reward. Only douchnozzle cultists call it a halvening.

halvening by therealmookmerkin October 2, 2019

You met me at a very Chinese time in my life

A moment in time where you feel distinctly Chinese over all other things.

Dante: "I wish I could be Nigerian, but I can't because I'm Chinese. You met me at a very Chinese time in my life."

You met me at a very Chinese time in my life by Sus Chad September 21, 2026

Word of the Day on September 25, 2026

crunchy

Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.

Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.

Modified derivative of granola.

"I need more crunchy guys in my life. I'm so tired of dating preppy metrosexual assholes."

"I'm heading out to the crunchy store to pick up some fair trade chocolate and tea tree oil, do you need anything?"

crunchy by EBC July 11, 2007

Word of the Day on September 24, 2026

Galantir

A group of people, typically women, searching through someone’s digital footprint in order to find more information about that person.

Susie wasn’t sure if her new Hinge match was a creep, so she assembled Galantir and they found out he used to post slurs on gaming forums.

Galantir by Ge-sus September 22, 2026

Word of the Day on September 23, 2026

murderhobo

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.

DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.

murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021

Word of the Day on September 22, 2026

Whale

In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.

"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."

Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020

Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy

A guy who thinks he's a country kinda guy, but in reality lives a comfortable city / suburban life.

Eugene: Look at that dude in the cowboy hat!
Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.

Concrete cowboy by EugeneJohnson42000 March 16, 2024

Word of the Day on September 20, 2026