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Go shove a match in your dick and light it! 

A meaner version of prases like "Go jump in the lake!"

Note "it" can, depending on the circumstances, refer to either the dick or the match.
Guy: "Will you make me a sandwich?"
Girl: "Go shove a match in your dick and light it!"
Guy: "Should I light the match or my dick?"

Go shove an i-phone in your burka 

This phrase is commonly used in response to some one who suspiciously claims claims they have done it all and seen before you. When in reality they probably haven't.
You-"Today I saw the most amazing thing in my life! it was this cage fight between a rabbit against this massive raptor!"

Group-"OOOOOOOOHHH AAAAAHHH"

Some person-"Oh I have seen that a thousand times before!"

You- "Go shove an i-phone in your burka"