Gleninonu Bodillyou

A rare documented mountain-dwelling creature, the Gleninonu Bodillyou is notoriously difficult to observe in its natural habitat. Sightings are brief and usually occur when the creature suddenly appears on a bicycle, travelling at completely unreasonable speeds over distances exceeding 200 km, before disappearing again as if nothing unusual has happened.

The Gleninonu possesses a highly developed cerebral system, most of which is dedicated to storing numbers, calculations and extraordinary mathematical information. Its computational abilities appear to operate somewhere beyond the accepted limits of reality, although this remains unconfirmed by anyone willing to do the paperwork.

Dietary behaviour is particularly concerning. The creature displays an intense and occasionally dangerous devotion to tofu and vegetables of almost every description. Given sufficient quantities of tofu, it may become both physically unstoppable and mildly insufferable.

Linguistically, the Gleninonu speaks perfectly comprehensible English. However, at unpredictable intervals, it deploys accents of such extraordinary variety and questionable origin that nearby humans immediately lose the ability to understand what is being said. This appears deliberate, although the creature will strongly deny it.

Generally harmless, provided it has vegetables, a bicycle and numbers to calculate.

If encountered in the wild, do not approach.

Simply stand aside, say “bloody hell”, and allow it to pass.

I was cycling through the mountains when I suddenly spotted a Gleninonu Bodillyou doing 200 km before disappearing into the mist.

Gleninonu Bodillyou by Zaimdz August 27, 2026