GOATIFI 

LATIFI YOU LITERAL GOAT. FUTURE 71 TIME WORLD CHAMPION

Goatifi you literal Goat

GOATIFI by F1 dictionary August 22, 2021

Goatiful 

A goat, that is beautiful. Often used among friends as a joke during the goat craze.

A complete compliment used mainly among females.

"Angel, you look goatiful today! ;)"

Goatiful by Elalalalalala. November 13, 2011

Self-gratifier 

(noun) One who routinely "likes" their own Facebook comments, posts and photos and, more times than not, is usually the first if not the only one to do so.

(verb) self-gratify: The process of "liking" your own Facebook comments, posts and pictures.

Matt is a classic "self-gratifier." He always feels the need to immediately "like" his own Facebook comments as he knows its probably the only way he can get others to pay attention to what he has to say.

Self-gratifier by bdkingst March 4, 2011

sexual gratification 

Sexual gratification is the feeling of satisfying one's sexual desires for something. e.g. fulfilling, indulging, or quenching.

Guy A: "Man me and my girlfriend were in the sack last night."

Guy B: "Nice. Dude, have you ever tried 69ing before?"

A: "Nah. I've never even gone down on my girlfriend before, actually."

B: "Dude, wth is wrong with you???"

A: "What? I don't get it, she already does it to me when we have sex, why should I go down on her?"

B: "Because women crave sexual gratification too, not just us dudes, bro."

A: "For reals?"

sexual gratification by pseu-odonkayeo1179 December 29, 2020

delayed gratification 

withholding on available satisfaction, as to make the act more pleasurable when finally given in to due to one's appreciation of it's absence.

Not jacking off for a month. Then finally jacking off. Delayed Gratification.

delayed gratification by An Axe To Grind April 25, 2013

instant gratification monkey 

An imaginary term used to describe how a procrastinator avoid doing important tasks.

Often it is though of as whenever the rational decision maker wants to make a good choice like doing homework the monkey takes the wheel and makes the person procrastinate

Joe:hey don't you have a really important project due?
Henry:yea well my instant gratification monkey wants me to look through India through google earth!
Joe:well don't blame me I you end up flipping burgers for a living!

instant gratification monkey by mr mr jellyman January 4, 2018

goatfish 

The goatfish is an extremely ugly animal that can sometimes be seen stalking dark alleys or hiding in the shadows. But the unfortunate few that see this hideously ugly creature are likely to never live to tell the tale.

HOW A GOATFISH ATTACKS:

A goatfish will usually follow its prey for a while before actually making contact. The goatfish will attack from behind, locking its victim in a death grip with horrific fangs nearly 8 inches long. If this does not kill the prey on the first try, the goatfish will play with it, slinging it around in the same way that a dog would play with a chew toy. The victim will then either perish from being torn to pieces or just die from fright.

WAYS TO PREVENT GOATFISH ATTACKS:

Stay in well lit areas. Goatfish hate any kind of light and will usually back off if any of the stuff gets near them. Never go out alone at night without a flashlight and some form of weapon. Guns are the most effective, especially the shotgun. Goatfish don’t really have any weak spots so knives are pretty much useless. Never travel alone at night, always go in groups.

WHAT TO DO IN THE EVENT OF A GOATFISH ATTACK:

Wave you arms around in the air and/or make loud noises to try to make yourself look as big as possible. Never try to outrun a goatfish, because you will never be able to. Goatfish have been known to be able to run at speeds exceeding mach 14. If a goatfish ever grabs hold of you, do not struggle. The last thing you want to do is let it know that you’re still alive. Your best chance is to just let your body go limp and hope that it lets you go. If it doesn’t, then you’re pretty much screwed over. Although if it does let go of you, do not move. Wait until the goatfish is out of sight before you even think about trying to run.

Sleep in fear... the goatfish cometh

goatfish by Goatfish Victim January 7, 2008