1. Singular noun. A person who makes unreasonable demands without warning or any semblance of forward planning. Usually endowed with an annoying voice which generates sensations similar to those caused by a steel brush applied to the inner ear.
2. Plural noun. The occasional batch of waffles that arrives deformed, shrunken, shriveled, or otherwise generally fucked. These ruin
one's breakfast, and occasionally,
one's entire
marriage. Known to taste disconcertingly of intercourse.
1. (person a): Woohoo! Five minutes to closing
time! Guess I can gather my murse together. I'm going to go home and bone my beard.
(person b, aka fuckwaffles): I need five hundred copies of this picture of my pet armadillo, Mr. Snuzzles. Now! Make them double-sided, laminated, and print every other copy on puce paper.
(person a): fuckwaffles.
2. (Steve):
Gee,
Bob, you look pretty worn down today. Did you eat a balanced breakfast like I told you to?
(
Bob): Well I tried, Steve, but my wife made me the fuckwaffles again, and it made me feel a little gay today.
(Steve): Ooh, burn, dude. Didn't you warn her about those?
(
Bob): Twice. Once with my words. This
time with my fist.
