1. Singular noun. A person who makes unreasonable demands without warning or any semblance of forward planning. Usually endowed with an
annoying voice which generates sensations similar to those caused by a steel brush applied to the inner ear.
2. Plural noun. The occasional batch of waffles that arrives deformed, shrunken, shriveled, or otherwise generally fucked. These ruin one'
s breakfast, and occasionally, one's entire
marriage. Known to taste disconcertingly of intercourse.
1. (person a): Woohoo! Five minutes to closing time! Guess I can gather my murse together. I'm going to go home and bone my beard.
(person b, aka fuckwaffles): I need five hundred copies of this picture of my pet armadillo, Mr. Snuzzles. Now! Make them double-sided, laminated, and print every other copy on puce paper.
(person a): fuckwaffles.
2. (Steve):
Gee,
Bob, you look
pretty worn down today. Did you eat a balanced breakfast like I told you to?
(
Bob): Well I tried, Steve, but my wife made me the fuckwaffles again, and it made me feel a little gay today.
(Steve): Ooh,
burn, dude. Didn't you warn her about those?
(
Bob): Twice. Once with my words. This time with my fist.