A person that acts like your friend when it benefits them but would gladly throw you under a bus if it furthered their ends.
Did you hear about that conservation group that secured donations by claiming to collaborate to protect the environment but worked to marginalize groups that file lawsuits to stop pollution? Serious friendamy.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.