(n.) The most likly bait a pedo will use. Most likely obtained from the end of a white van with no windows, white, and has "Free Candy, Totally Legit" written in brown, red or black paint. Found in parks, playgrounds, schools, and sometimes disguised as a Ice Cream Truck, but instead serves free candy and molestation.
Mom: "what did you do in School today son?"
Billy: " i got Free Candy!"
Mom: "WHAT!?"
Billy: "yea it came with the tight pants and shirt. He took a picture of me as well!"
by BillyMacDiddy January 22, 2011
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An alpha male defined by his vast sense of humor and godly looks. He is usually the envy of the average beta male that desperately attempts to gain validation by shitposting.
The Greek gods were modeled after FreeCandy's personality traits.
by Wegamers community October 26, 2017
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Candy given away, often by really nice people in beat-up vans.

Occasionally refers to candy found in dumpsters, toilets, yards, or other sanitary sources.
On my 54th birthday, a man driving a Rainbow 1978 Ford Pinto with the words "free candy" scratched in the side invited me in for some free candy. I jumped up and down giddily and accepted the offer.
by freecandy@deadorphans.com December 12, 2010
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It's a reference to "a running joke at The Pensblog is that they think that Brooks Orpik looks like a child molester and they call him the candy man and throw his picture up inside of a van with 'free candy' on the side. Don't get it twisted.
That Brooks Orpik looks like a pedophile. He likes little kids units and hands out free candy as he asks them to come into his basement. He's also slow as a snail.
by RogueStatus79 June 15, 2009
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