Free Candy

Back the fuck away from the van.

Mysterious man in the van: " Hey kid, want some free candy?"
Kid: *Backs the fuck away from the van*

by Adios Bitchachos June 2, 2015

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Free Candy

A hard hit in hockey by Pittsburgh Penguins defenseman Brooks Orpik.

Brooks Orpik was giving out some free candy left and right.

by Roy Brown July 2, 2008

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(n.) The most likly bait a pedo will use. Most likely obtained from the end of a white van with no windows, white, and has "Free Candy, Totally Legit" written in brown, red or black paint. Found in parks, playgrounds, schools, and sometimes disguised as a Ice Cream Truck, but instead serves free candy and molestation.

Mom: "what did you do in School today son?"
Billy: " i got Free Candy!"
Mom: "WHAT!?"
Billy: "yea it came with the tight pants and shirt. He took a picture of me as well!"

by BillyMacDiddy January 22, 2011

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Free Candy

Candy given away, often by really nice people in beat-up vans.

Occasionally refers to candy found in dumpsters, toilets, yards, or other sanitary sources.

On my 54th birthday, a man driving a Rainbow 1978 Ford Pinto with the words "free candy" scratched in the side invited me in for some free candy. I jumped up and down giddily and accepted the offer.

by freecandy@deadorphans.com December 14, 2010

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Free Candy

It's a reference to "a running joke at The Pensblog is that they think that Brooks Orpik looks like a child molester and they call him the candy man and throw his picture up inside of a van with 'free candy' on the side. Don't get it twisted.

That Brooks Orpik looks like a pedophile. He likes little kids units and hands out free candy as he asks them to come into his basement. He's also slow as a snail.

by RogueStatus79 June 15, 2009

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