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Five dollar douche bag 

Job Description and Duties
Five dollar douche bags perform several duties during a typical shift. Five dollar douche bags assist Subway customers with orders, prepare food to customer specifications, operate cash registers, and complete other jobs assigned by a Subway manager. Five dollar douche bags with Subway also field customer questions and complaints about personnel or products. Five dollar douche bags may need to complete other duties apart from customer service, including cleaning and stocking. Five dollar douche bags at Subway may need to clean kitchen, restaurant, and restroom areas as well as stock food goods when supply runs low.

and then I found five dollars and a bag of weed 

Some stories are so boring, even adding and then I found five dollars won't save them. Adding "and then I found five dollars and a bag of weed" to the end of your boring ass story, will validate for your friends all that time and facial expressiveness they just wasted listening to it, and they will remember why they are friends with you in the first place, because a friend with weed is a friend indeed.
"Oh man, Friday, I really wanted an egg salad sandwich and I was just obsessing about it and I was like, 'Man, I'm gonna make one of those.' So Saturday, I went out and got, like, a dozen eggs and then I boiled them all and I just, I spent, I dunno, probably three hours, like three and a half hours making, you know, the mayonnaise, and the onions and paprika and, you know, the necessary accoutrement. And then, by the time I was done, I didn't really feel like like eating it...and then I found five dollars and a bag of weed..."

"Bet you felt like eating the sandwich then! Oh man, when are we hanging out, Andy?"
More from Urban Dictionary
Being ignored by someone when making a statement or asking a question. Also known as blanked and turfed.
Person 1: Did u watch ** last nite?
Person 2:......
Person 3: O no u got aired!
aired by Pietro February 9, 2005
Word of the Day on October 10, 2026

piddlefart

Instead of doing my homework, I decided to piddlefart around for two hours.
piddlefart by Rene April 25, 2005
Word of the Day on October 9, 2026
anyone who succeeds in disgracing/over indulging themselves in the throws of clubland
28 hours and 4 clubs later, gurning for england but still refusing to go home - a total wrongun!!
wrongun by bevvers March 21, 2007
Word of the Day on October 8, 2026

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
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