Fedora Guy 

Also called a "nice guy"

It is some malnourished (either super skinny or super fat) guy who thinks he's so cool and smart when in fact he just sounds like a smartass without being so smart because, you know, he just picks up random, deep words from a Latin dictionary or a game or somewhere else. He usually calls other people names like he's some god or something (also, often he does not believe in God and will always try to bash that "truth" in believers' face). He also tends not to ever think he is wrong.

His usual outfit is any dark clothes that allow him to absorb sunlight like a black hole, so you can expect the worst smells (of unhygienic neck beards and the like) to surround his presence. He also dons and tips the infamous "fedora" (actually a trilby), thinking he looks cool in such a manner.

Usually he is a basement dweller, like, he's some sort of a bottom feeder who feeds on Doritos while humping the hole on the bottom end of a dakimakura pillow (i.e. his waifuu). There are times he wants to impress real girls but always fails because of his plain ugliness inside out. He starts off as a "nice guy" (ergo, earning the alternative name for him) who tries to make the girl "beautiful". Then he proceeds to call her, whom has called them out for being such a creep, a big slut who only wants to date the douchebag (i.e. more attractive and probably more tolerable male).

in an SMS thread

Guy: Hey, beautiful. *bows and kisses your hand*

Girl: Uhm. Hi?

Guy: Hehe. I noticed your beauty that stood among the others at WalMart last night. I cannot help but listen to your little talk with the caramel-colored female so I can get your number.

Girl: Stop that. I have a boyfriend.

Guy: You sure you don't want to be treated like a woman? He will leave you, I won't. Also, nice pair of bosoms you have. Mind if I see them?

Girl: Nice try, fedora guy, but no

Guy: Hehe. *kisses your cheek*

Girl:

Girl:

Girl:

Guy: Hello?

Guy: Still there?

Guy: Lol I was trying to be nice and gentlemanly to you but you choose to fuck the dickhead in your bedroom. Lol. Bye

Fedora Guy by somejudgmentalbish June 29, 2017

fedora guy 

The dumb guy down the hall who wears a fedora every day because he thinks it looks cool or something.

Fedora guy can be anyone with a really obvious and ridiculous affectation that makes him look more like the immature dork he is than the imaginary worldly and mature non-dork he sees himself as.

"In-the-know" college girl: "So I was like, 'Epic fail!'"

Fedora Guy: "Did I just hear 'epic fail'?" -winks at girl-

-room goes silent-

Minutes later...
Person 1: "Fedora Guy is such a dork."
Person 2: "I walked in on him playing Dungeons and Dragons with his fat girlfriend the other day."
Person 3: "Seriously. But, hey guys, how do you like my new American Apparel Deep V tee?"
Persons 1 & 2: "Quit being such a fedora guy before we fart on your head."

fedora guy by futanari basashi January 16, 2009