Fartism 

A new-age philosophy that states that farts, in and of themselves give life meaning and happiness. In other words, this is a philosophy that attaches prime importance to farts over everything else and necessitates one who follows this philosophy to fart 5 times a day to give thanks/homage to farts, as well as eat beans every day in Ramadan to please the fart Gods, on a very sound epistemological foundation that farts clear out the waste (i.e. darkness of the human experience), therefore fartism is the thing that brings light to the entire world (by eliminating all the waste/bad of the universe) answers all the questions of human existence and more, and is supported by all other philosophies/religions in the entirety of the world's history (as well as is a fundamental truth of reality whose true nature is acknowledged in some way or form by all philosophies/religions in history, whether you realize it or not/ is intrinsically supported by/woven into the very fabric of existence itself).

David just subscribed to fartism yesterday. He is now a born-again fartist who has understood all things and has achieved 100% enlightenment, unlike Spongebob in that one episode where he said "I know everything now", yet that wasn't true cuz well, his brain is limited. Fartism is not limited, however, it is true and explains all of reality/is a concrete reality, whether our brains understand this or not. Take that, religion.

Fartism by CreeperDude567 April 19, 2020

fartism 

the act of farting uncontrollably. usually after eating a giant can of beans.

last year in summer camp johnny won the fartism award

fartism by kelly furtado November 4, 2008

Fartism (Updated Definition, Please Check Tag) 

A new-age philosophy that states that farts, in and of themselves give life meaning and happiness. In other words, this is a philosophy that attaches prime importance to farts over everything else and necessitates one who follows this philosophy to fart 5 times a day to give thanks/homage to farts, as well as eat beans every day in Ramadan to please the fart Gods, on a very sound epistemological foundation that farts clear out the waste (i.e. darkness of the human experience), therefore fartism is the thing that brings light to the entire world (by eliminating all the waste/bad of the universe) answers all the questions of human existence and more, and is supported by all other philosophies/religions in the entirety of the world's history (as well as is a fundamental truth of reality whose true nature is acknowledged in some way or form by all philosophies/religions in history, whether you realize it or not/ is intrinsically supported by/woven into the very fabric of existence itself).

David just subscribed to fartism (updated definition, please check tag) yesterday. He is now a born-again fartist who has understood all things and has achieved 100% enlightenment, unlike Spongebob in that one episode where he said "I know everything now", yet that wasn't true cuz well, his brain is limited. Fartism is not limited, however, it is true and explains all of reality/is a concrete reality, whether our brains understand this or not. Take that, false* religion.

Fartism (Updated Definition, Please Check Tag) by CreeperDude567 May 7, 2021

Fartism- Version 3

A new-age philosophy that states that farts, in and of themselves give life meaning and happiness. In other words, this is a philosophy that attaches prime importance to farts over everything else and necessitates one who follows this philosophy to fart 5 times a day to give thanks/homage to farts, as well as eat beans every day in Ramadan to please the fart Gods, on a very sound epistemological foundation that farts clear out the waste (i.e. darkness of the human experience), therefore fartism is the thing that brings light to the entire world (by eliminating all the waste/bad of the universe) answers all the questions of human existence and more, and is supported by all other philosophies/religions in the entirety of the world's history (as well as is a fundamental truth of reality whose true nature is acknowledged in some way or form by all philosophies/religions in history, whether you realize it or not or is intrinsically supported by or is woven into the very fabric of existence itself).

David just subscribed to Fartism- Version 3 yesterday. He is now a born-again fartist who has understood all things and has achieved 100% enlightenment, unlike Spongebob in that one episode where he said "I know everything now", yet that wasn't true cuz well, his brain is limited. Fartism is not limited, however, it is true and explains all of reality/is a concrete reality, whether our brains understand this or not.

Fartism- Version 3 by CreeperDude567 February 4, 2022

martial fartist 

Someone who purposely uses their farts to annoy someone else.

JT likes to let his Don Fee build up lots of pressure, then he comes over to my cubicle and squeezes out his bean bomb real hard and fast, making a super loud & stinky fart. JT's a real martial fartist!

martial fartist by NE1 May 25, 2006

Fartisan 

Someone who is highly skilled in the art of farting with well-developed sphinchter control that allows them to control both the duration and acoustics of their farts. A fartisan may deliberately eat certain foods in order to increase their fart power.

He possessed an uncanny ability to fart. He could release them slowly producing a fart as long as eight seconds or propel them out with one large sphinctoral push to produce a more powerful but shorter fart. He was a true fartisan and skilled fartsman.

Fartisan by Lucius Atkinson June 5, 2018

fartsmith 

1 The creator of flatulence.
2 The creator of something of comparable quality to flatulence.

Used either in 1 respect or 2 disrespect of the subject.

1 Only I, master fartsmith, could create such a mulitleveled olfactory experience!

2 What kind of fartsmith are you, starting an idiotic message thread like that?

fartsmith by Naney the Goat-Hearder April 26, 2004