Fake Juicer

A "Fake Juicer" is someone who:
(a): pretends to be drunk at a party but in reality has consumed very little or no alcohol.
(b): has a very low tolerance and is hammered way before anyone else is.
(c): loses a drinking competition to someone else whom they claimed to be a fake juicer.

To be given the humiliating title of a "fake juicer" you must satisfy one or more of the above criteria. A fake juicer usually exaggerates the amount of alcohol they have drank in order to refrain from drinking more or can't handle their booze and is the first one belligerently drunk at an otherwise calm event.

Calling someone a "fake juicer" is also effective way of pressuring them to drink more and prove to the accuser that they are an authentic juicer. If you call someone a fake juicer and they challenge you to a chug off, the winner is granted permission to call the loser a "fake juicer" for the remainder of the night.

Example 1:
Guy 1: "hey want another beer man?"
Guy 2: "no I've had waaaay too much and I'm really drunk give me a few minutes."
Guy 1: "You're not drunk, this is only your 2nd beer. Stop being a fake juicer."
Guy 2: "You're right, I am a fake juicer, I'll show myself out."

Example 2:
Guy: "Hey check out Alison, it's only 9:30 and she's already wasted off of 4 Bacardi Breezers."
Girl: "Yea tell me about it, she's such a fake juicer."
(Both sigh disappointingly )

Example 3:
Bro 1: "yo bro you want another beer bro?"
Bro 2: "nah bro I'm fucked up I'll pass."
Bro 1: "Bro you've only had like 11 beers and 5 shots"
Bro 2: "yee bro, I might throw up so I'll wait a few minutes"
Bro 1: (to fellow partygoers) "hey everyone look we have a fake juicer over here!"
Hot Girl: "Wow what a pussy!"
Athlete: "Haha what a fuckin' fake juicing virgin!"
High Guy: "Not chill bro."
Bro 2: "Fuck you I'm not a fake juicer, pass me that beer."
Bro 1: (passes beer) "Thats what I like to hear bro."
Bro 2: (chugs beer, throws up) " I'm a fucking savage!"

Example 4:
Bro 1 "Yo bro you're such a fake juicer man!"
Bro 2: "Nah bro, YOU'RE the fake juicer!"
Bro 3: "CHUG OFF!!!!"
(They both chug until bro 1 passes out and has to go to the hospital. Bro 2 is the champion and bro 1 will be known as the fake juicer until he redeems himself)

Fake Juicer by Uni Guy April 13, 2015