Skip to main content

Emporia State University 

A university placed precisely in the middle of Topeka, Wichita, and Kansas City, and arguably placed in the most depressing middle of nowhere concocted by man.

The town of Emporia is home to Emporia State University, which is very presentable yet totally devoid of any intellectual activity, much like a Norman Rockwell painting. The academic atmosphere at ESU is comparable to a lecture on semantics given by the Little Rascals; the educators' hearts are in the right place, but the ineptitude of the majority of the instructors is only eclipsed by the worthlessness of the degrees they churn out.

Every year, Emporia graduates many of our nation's educators, but they have recently removed history as a general education requirement. Sadly, it was not as bad as keeping the program; in all seriousness, there is a gen ed history class in which the sole text is Wikipedia. Though history was only a recent nix from the curriculum, it seems critical thought and standards must have been scrubbed a decade or so ago.

Emporia is not the most backwoods thing about Kansas, placing a distant to the world's largest ball of twine in Cawker City. If there were a nuclear holocaust, and Larry the Cable Guy were the only male left to repopulate the human race, the first post-apocalyptic settlement would look exactly like Emporia. It's a town of self-important dullards swimming about in Earth's most boring fishbowl.
"Where did you get your degree?"

"Emporia State University."

"Oh, so what do you do now?"

"Wish I hadn't wasted twenty grand and four years of my life."
Emporia State University mug front
Get the Emporia State University mug.
See more merch

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".
A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.
Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.
"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."
Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004

schmegegge 

Yiddish slang word meaning bullshit, baloney, hogwash, nonsense, crock of shit or hot air.
I don't buy the schmegegge about Morty sleeping with Moira.
His version of the story was pure schmegegge.
The whole schmegegge was made up to get Liz a little bit of attention.
schmegegge by budsbabe February 1, 2008

eye bleach 

Looking or experiencing something nice after witnessing something horrid like a disgusting gif or a disturbing video. Typically used as eye bleach are nice images of whatever makes the disturbed person happy.
"Bleach my eyes! Why is that woman's face ripped off!?"
*Looks up images of puppies and kittens.*
"That's good eye bleach."
eye bleach by Rini2012 November 29, 2016
Noun. Portmanteau of "street" and "road": it describes a street, er, road, built for high speed, but with multiple access points. Excessive width is a common feature. A common feature in suburbia, especially along commercial strips. Unsafe at any speed, their extreme width and straightness paradoxically induces speeding. Somewhat more neutral than synonymous traffic sewer.
Did you see what the traffic engineers want to do to our street? They're going to turn it into a total stroad!
Stroad by hammersklavier February 21, 2012

giantess 

she will either play with you crush you use you a slave or eat you
giantess by Tonyt September 8, 2004