Donkey Punch Bunch
Donkey Punch Bunch (DPB)
A prestigious, invitation-only “secret society” founded in 2007 by the enigmatic DPBMFCEO (Donkey Punch Bunch Mother-Fucking Chief Executive Officer).*
Born as an inside joke but elevated—through questionable decision-making and sheer commitment—into a full-blown illuminati-parody brotherhood, the Donkey Punch Bunch prides itself on absolute secrecy: No one talks about it, no one admits they’re in it, and no one is entirely sure what they actually do.
Members claim the organization exists to “preserve balance in the universe,” though outsiders suspect it’s mostly an excuse for overly elaborate handshakes, poorly planned rituals, and extremely serious meetings about things that should never be taken that seriously.
Despite the questionable name, the DPB operates with the dignity of a centuries-old aristocratic order—if that order had been founded by sleep-deprived geniuses with too much free time and an unshakable sense of humor.
In short:
A classy, clandestine society with zero purpose, maximum mystery, and a founder who took a joke too far and accidentally created a legend.
A prestigious, invitation-only “secret society” founded in 2007 by the enigmatic DPBMFCEO (Donkey Punch Bunch Mother-Fucking Chief Executive Officer).*
Born as an inside joke but elevated—through questionable decision-making and sheer commitment—into a full-blown illuminati-parody brotherhood, the Donkey Punch Bunch prides itself on absolute secrecy: No one talks about it, no one admits they’re in it, and no one is entirely sure what they actually do.
Members claim the organization exists to “preserve balance in the universe,” though outsiders suspect it’s mostly an excuse for overly elaborate handshakes, poorly planned rituals, and extremely serious meetings about things that should never be taken that seriously.
Despite the questionable name, the DPB operates with the dignity of a centuries-old aristocratic order—if that order had been founded by sleep-deprived geniuses with too much free time and an unshakable sense of humor.
In short:
A classy, clandestine society with zero purpose, maximum mystery, and a founder who took a joke too far and accidentally created a legend.
“If the Donkey Punch Bunch were real — which it obviously isn’t — I still wouldn’t have the clearance level to explain it.”
Donkey Punch Bunch by DPBMFCEO December 10, 2025
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