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A wank that takes your mind off a disaster that has just occured, allowing you to have a clear mind to think of a solution.
1) I rolled my car last night. Hit two pedestrians and a dog.
2) Bloody hell, what did you do?!
1) I had a quick Disaster Wank then set about destroying the evidence before running off into the woods.
by Harold Bishop's Love Child March 02, 2010
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Jul 11 Word of the Day
selfish idiots in my neighborhood who think that they don't need to wear a mask because the rest of us do
A maskhole jogged right past me in the park today
by Bethinslope May 11, 2020
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2
A wank that goes terribly wrong and usually results in a big stealthy clean up.

Often caused by Backfire, a lack of tissues, an unexpectedly early ending or a surprise intruder.

The worst type of contaminated spillage.
Mike's friend: How come you were so late to first class?

Mike: Oh man, had a Disasterwank and it needed tending to. Looked like a war zone!

Mike's friend: ah hard lines man, not had a Disasterwank in years!
by carbo-fuckin-nara October 10, 2014
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