Derivatives 

Why I'm failing AP Calculus right now.

Quiz: Find the derivatives of the following.

#1: e^(-2coscsc4x)(4pitan/-7secx)^cos6x.

Me: *blank stare*

Derivatives by Sid Barrett December 9, 2008

derivatives chad 

Doesn't matter which way the market goes the derivatives chad always makes money.

Speaks fluent Greek. Basically invented Gamma Convexity. Trades options on Zeta Markets.

Did you see Marty's PnL last week? The guy is such a derivatives chad

derivatives chad by derivatives-chad June 3, 2022

derivative drivel 

Nonsensical and cumbersome discussion using arguments mostly derived from other people's work with little to no real understanding of the context.

Don't bore me with your derivative drivel on the subject you know very little about

derivative drivel by coldplasma January 15, 2017

derivatize 

a slang term for finding the derivative of a function

Every problem on last night's homework required me to derivatize a function

derivatize by it's hip to be a square January 25, 2007

Derivative Disease 

The deindustrialization of a nation's economy that occurs when Wall Street financiers use fictitious capital to finance highly leveraged speculative investments of astronomically high risk that simultaneously devalue the nation's currency and destroy its productive capacity by stifling credit to the real economy.

Those fuckers on Wall Street have plundered our booty and given us all a scorching case of derivative disease

Derivative Disease by kiwi_david June 2, 2010

financial derivative 

(FINANCE) a financial instrument whose value is tied to something else; for example,

* a futures contract (future)

* an option

* a swap

In each of these examples, the value of the derivative is related in some way to the price of something else. When the market price of (say) an ounce of gold goes from $1000/oz to $1050/oz, the return to the owner of 1 oz. of actual gold is 5%. But for the owner of a call option or a future, the return is much, much greater than that.

A derivative can be used to multiply risk AND potential profits to speculators; but it can be used for the counterparty to minimize risk by locking in prices, or by hedging against risk.

The economic crisis of 2008 has really focused attention on the financial derivative market.

financial derivative by Abu Yahya April 5, 2010

third derivative 

A lesser known Calculus term, literally meaning a sudden change in acceleration, or a "jerk".

School Playground Bully: "Shut the fuck up and gimme yo money. And yo lunch, nigga."
Poor Playground Nerd: "Um, no hey! YOU shut up, you third derivative!"
<School Playground Bully runs away squealing like a little girl.>

third derivative by Leah November 25, 2003