Cognizant Carbs

When you feel guilty about all the carbs you’ve been eating so your subconscious starts to ascribe human characteristics to all types of bread products in an effort to make you less inclined to eat them . This happens to such a degree that you begin to believe that bread is actually a living entity with moral qualms about being consumed. It starts as a case of Pareidolia(seeing faces in unusual places). When the carbs in your life become cognizant it is not uncommon to see your muffin smiling at you or corn bread frowning in disgust. They stare at you and you stare back. You look with longing, while they gaze back in judgement. Before too long your explaining to your family that you haven’t eaten the waffles sitting out on the table because they have a rich backstory and kids at home that can’t get by without them.

Dean: I only did Keto for a week before I binged on a dozen Krispy Kreme’s. That last one didn’t appreciate it much.
Sam: Last one? Last donut?
Dean: Yeah, you could tell he was pissed?
Sam: Dude, those are cognizant carbs. The guilt got to you.

Cognizant Carbs by Darren Besert May 6, 2018

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Stinky Bobby

When you find a little guy who is stinky. Usually needs a belly rub.

Hey, that’s Stinky Bobby.

Stinky Bobby by anorlondo June 17, 2026

Word of the Day on July 29, 2026

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chud run

A trip to a grocery store, convenience store, or gas station for the sole purpose of buying an excessive amount of junk food and sugary drinks, usually with friends. A chud run often happens late at night and ends with everyone involved hating themselves afterwards.

"Hey bro you tryna go on a chud run with me??"

chud run by chad brandson July 24, 2026

Word of the Day on July 28, 2026

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flophouse

Any house/apartment/frat house/trailer/etc. which is used for individuals to crash (sleep, chill, hang out, lurk, etc.) for a period of time. In order to "crash", one must not actually live there (e.g. have their name on the lease, own said flophouse, etc.). Flophouses are typically used by college students, drug addicts, transients, vagrants, or other unsavory characters.

A flophouse may also be the home owned by the parents of a college student, who after being away at college, wishes to live as if he/she is still at college (e.g. staying out all night, returning just to crash at mom and dad's house, then leaving again), rather than conforming to the pre-college rules.

Example #1
Dude: (Talking to someone passed out face first on the floor of his college apartment) Hey man, who the hell are you? What do you think this is, a flophouse??

Bro: Sorry dude, I must have passed out for a minute.

Example #2
Mom: Where have you BEEN for the last three days? You come home just to sleep?? What do you think this is, a flophouse??!!

Son: What's your problem? I'm an adult now!

flophouse by J3553 November 21, 2007

Word of the Day on July 27, 2026

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Hate Sink

A person you hate intensely not because they deserve such hatred but because they serve as a focus for your general hatred. A healthy way to dispense with excess animosity.

Jake's not really that big an asshole. He just serves as my hate sink.

Hate Sink by The great prophet Zarquon August 7, 2016

Word of the Day on July 26, 2026

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funiosity

The art of being peculiar, but in an amusing fashion.

"Wow, look at that dog running on three legs"
- "Yeah, that sure is a funiosity"

funiosity by Supersonic Stevie November 23, 2007

Word of the Day on July 25, 2026

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Toe Rag

A toe rag was originally a foot wrapping used, since mediaeval times up until the mid-nineteenth century, to protect the foot from chafing by boots or shoes. As these were, quite literally, rags they weren’t usually washed, and so with use they became very smelly until they were thrown away. Because of the similarity in smell, toe rag also became the name applied to dried, salted cod or other things with a strong, unpleasant, fishy smell. It didn’t take that long before the name was applied to someone who was an obnoxious, unpleasant OIC.

1 “Socks! Those aren’t socks you smelly git, they’re toe rags!”
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.

Toe Rag by AKACroatalin November 29, 2016

Word of the Day on July 24, 2026

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