Classy Alcoholic 

A person who enjoys dressing for the occasion, but also loves to drink- maybe a bit too much. You'll find them at fancy parties with a glass of something constantly in their hand.
They drink daily or frequently. If you manage to spot one in the wild, you might wonder if their life is great, or absolute trash.

"Man, that Joseph is one classy alcoholic...", Derek observed the man with a mix of jealousy and disgust.

Classy Alcoholic by InsaneWildAnimal July 14, 2018

classy alcoholic 

A person who has a severe alcohol problem in which they try to hide by calling it "classy". Most classy alcoholics are short and fat, due to lack of excersize and unhealthy eating habits and they are either from Jersey or pretend to be from Jersey (Snooky from The Jersey Shore). This term is used to mask a persons alcoholic behaviors from public ridicule and avoid interference from family members and friends who are trying to help. Common characteristics of a classy alcoholic are sleeping thoughout the day and staying up all night, consuming massive amounts of alcohol on religious days such as sundays, wearing clothing that is entirely too tight which shows every lump of a persons body, loud and belligerent public behavior, streams of cuss words when on the phone (especially with family members), rude and pigheadedness, and the belief that they are a princess when in fact, they are no more than fat, annoying, people who talk shit about others in order to cover up that they have a drinking problem and they hate their lives. Classy alcoholics can trip and fall without spilling one drop of their SoCo (Southern Comfort) which can be beneficial at times. The lack of true friends and pain of living a promiscuous and loveless life will eventually kill the classy alcoholics faster than the eminent alcohol poisoning in their futures.

D'anna: No one can have any of my SoCo! It's Sunday night and it's time for me to drankkk! It's okay though because I'm a classy alcoholic.

The world: What a dumb fat bitch. I hope she gets hit by a car.

D'anna: I DGAF what you people say!

The world: Obviously, because if you did you would have laid off the Mcdonalds 3 years ago.

classy alcoholic by trainofwonder16 August 16, 2010

classy alcoholic 

Two words used to describe an individual that is a closet alcoholic. Some symptoms include drinking on Sundays, Weekdays, they are loud, and they think they are the "bees Knees". Typically these individuals think they live fabulous Lifestyles but in reality they suck and nobody likes them or wants to be around them.

slut 1: its Sunday night what should we do?
slut 2: lets go to scottsdale and act like movie stars and drink malt liquor
slut 1: great idea! i hope i get laid by a nigger tonight because im a classy alcoholic

classy alcoholic by fucks mcgoothey are loud, and August 16, 2010