Comically Large Spoon

A spoon that was present in King Bach's ice cream vine, where he had asked if he could have some of his friends ice cream. When King Bach's friend was presented this question, he said that King Bach could only consume one spoonful of the ice cream. (Context: The friend bought the ice cream and did not want to share all of the sweet frozen treat, a logical decision to make). When King Bach was given the yes to have only a spoonful of his friend's ice cream, he pulled out a comically large stainless steel spoon. With a smirk on his face, he opened the door to the freezer where the ice cream was stored, and would then consume a spoonful of the ice cream. Since the spoon was so comically large, King Bach would be able to consume all of the ice cream, while only having a spoonful.

"Can I get some ice cream?"

"Only a spoonful."
*King Bach pulls out a Comically Large Spoon*

Comically Large Spoon by Bukas July 13, 2020

Comcast Gambit 

The untimely and prolonged malfunction of an internet connection resulting in great inconvenience, such as the forfeiture of an online chess match/tournament. Dubbed by the chess master and Youtube personality Jerry (ChessNetwork).

This phrase is a merging of two terms: the terrible internet provider (Comcast) with the chess term (gambit), a tactical and deliberate sacrifice of a chess piece. However, the Comcast Gambit is unique from all others in that it fails to be either voluntary or tactical.

1. Marcellus, with the black pieces, found himself in a superior position with a time advantage in a blitz chess match. To his opponent's relief, the Comcast Gambit was then played, resulting in an immediate win for white.

2. After completing his essay final by 11:55 pm, Leland proceeded to submit it online before the 11:59 pm deadline. However, his shoddy internet service was down -- a textbook Comcast Gambit.

Comcast Gambit by Sinchronize January 2, 2013

ComicsGate 

ComicsGate is a GamerGate style consumer revolt within the Comic Book Industry, that was sparked by industry insiders brushing aside their own consumer base. They engaged in SJW tactics like block chains, the push of propaganda, people being fired for political views, tampering with comic book classics, etc. Dismissing their own consumers, & their concerns (valid or otherwise) with bland accusations of discrimination. When you push your own consumers this way they grow increasingly frustrated & understandably bitter for this mistreatment. So they banded together & talked about this occasionally. Which eventually lead to the start of ComicsGate.

Fans: " i just don't understand why the classic characters we love so much were replaced, why are they all gender-bent all of a sudden?"
Industry insider: "Stop criticizing that! That's racist!"
Fans: "...Wait what? How?"
Industry insider: Help! Were being attacked!
Fans: "What? What did we do??"
Industry insider: block*
(rinse & repeat, until...)
Fans: Ok! that's it! We've had enough! #comicsgate!

ComicsGate by Damien Poe Rocks February 17, 2018

Comically Large Spoon

It's a funny big spoon used in vine videos by King Bach specifically.

Transcript of the "Comically Large Spoon" Vine:

King Bach:
I unceremoniously salute you, o closely associated individual of mine. It is within my best interest that I request you wherethrough I may have the chance to acquire access to this non-atomically-active food known as a dessert, herewithin this relatively large device, known commonly as a refrigerator, of whose function is to preserve common consumables, to grant access for the aforementioned purpose. I give this statement in good faith that I become a holder of access to the consumable.

Bach's friend:
O closely related individual, I shalt grant you a right to access to the sweetened product under one, only one, and exactly one condition: you, aforementioned individual, and the listeners of this message, are to remove and consume the quantity of confectionary coolant that which does not transcend that of which would be able to reside therewithin a traditional dining equipment which is similar to a bowl, and which, is commonly known as a spoon. I expect you, the individual I am referring to, act in a way such that the aforementioned terms and conditions are not broken, thereby keeping our trust within each other remain intact.

King Bach, who had extended and contracted multiple muscles of his to make a look of one who has surpassed another, conveniently obtains a comedically tremendous dining utensil, wherewith he, King Bach, obtains access to any coveted cooling confectionary he would desire.

Comically Large Spoon by NIGGArchitect November 9, 2020

Comcast 

It began with the creation of the great cable providers. Many were given to the people of the US, but they were all of them deceived. In the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, the dark Lord Sauron forged in secret a master cable provider, to control all others and into, he poured his cruelty, his malice, and and the worst fucking customer service imaginable, its name was Comcast. One by one respectable cable providers fell to the power of the Comcast. But there were some who resisted. A last alliance of Disgruntled customers and AT&T employees marched against the tyranny of Comcast and in the parking lot of Comcast's headquarters they fought for the right to choose a respectable cable service.

Comcast must be destroyed before its evil consumes the world.

Comcast by Satan's Almighty Penis July 27, 2014

Comcast 

A supposed digital service provider employing a business plan from the stone age set up to do nothing other than rape it's customers. Instead of allowing consumers to choose their own content packages, they force 90% extra bullshit fluff added to the 10% of services you actually want for ridiculously outlandish prices.

Running with a completely streamlined skeletoned system of equipment and hardware that's not kept up to date with modern firmware or standards whatsoever, nothing is ever working the way it's intended and if anything goes wrong expect to be ignored until it starts working again, which can take hours if not days at a time.

Line signal strength is a joke and overtaxed during peak hours so if you're neighbor is looking up porn while you wish to game online expect frequent lag and disconnections. Switching stations have no stand by systems or backups in place so if anything on the Comcast service network goes down you have no services, such as Television, Internet and Phone.

1. I just got booted from Xbox Live! Again! Fucking asshat next door must be jerking off!

2. Comcast is down, better call it in to complain... oh wait, Comcast also provides the phone, and since the service is down the phone isn't working.

3. Customer service has had me on hold for hours! They must not have any staff to handle anything because they expect no one to call when the service is down because it disables the customer's phone! Guess they don't realize we still have cellphones! Oh I just got through... nope they don't speak English and promptly hung up on me!

4. I've just pinged the local switching station's IP and I'm getting not half the rate for which I'm paying for their supposed "high-speed" internet... customer service tells me that I'm paying for "up-to" a certain speed. I'm thinking about only paying "up-to" a certain amount of my fucking bill! Fuck Comcast, I'm cancelling this shit!

Comcast by WCrispy July 23, 2009

Comcast 

A company that spends all its money on advertising and thus has none left over for customer service.

Also see monopoly

Hey, keep that frustrated customer on hold while we finish our latest 'Comcast Triple Play' ad.

Comcast by Degu June 29, 2008