The act of stalking a person's various saved documentation (such as social media, film reels, leaked recording in private settings etc.) in a quest to find something offensive and frivolous they may have said at any point in the past, regardless of what age or personal growth said person may have gone through since the time of. Disproportionately utilized against people who have made some kind of name for themselves in some way, shape or form since no one cares if Joe Nobody ever said something dumb.
Man 1: Josh Allen said the n-word on twitter back in 2012 when he a junior in high school! What a totally racist asshole!

Man 2: Dude, EVERYONE has said stupid shit at some point in their life, ESPECIALLY high schoolers! I'm not going to chastise someone for something obviously nonsensical they said as a dumb kid, where the only difference is that he was unfortunate enough to say it in a place that saves everything as opposed to normal face to face conversation. Especially when it's totally a coincidence it only came out after he became famous. Quit birching and get a real fucking hobby.

Sean Schemmel: Vic Mignogna's a homophobic piece of shit!
Dragonball fans: Hey Sean care to say anything about that leaked audio of you saying a homophobic slur while doing Goku's voice like 10 times in 9 seconds?
Sean Schemmel's: Hey that's not fair, this stuff is only valid when I'M not the one getting birched!!!
by Assey McGee August 29, 2019
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Birching is an intense form of pining
Why doesn't he just go out and get a life and stop birching?
by Undokey August 31, 2006
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Banging a girl in a tree
Ideally a birch tree. But any tree will suffice
Met this girl last night night, fuck her in a tree

Oh shit, you birching sob
by Doriftopyret May 24, 2018
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The name your friend gets when you are at a party and you try to text your friend to tell them that they are a bitch, but you accidentally text birch.
by Big Bird 3320 November 29, 2015
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An alternative for bitch. Birch is commonly used to bypass internet filters. It is also used to call someone a bitch without the associated negative connotations; a more light-hearted approach.
"Well don't get mad at me, birch! You could have answered your own question if you searched first."

"My girl has been birching at me since she got home. I don't know what the deal is, but the birch needs to settle down."
by Jack Krabitz January 02, 2007
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When a girl goes up to another girl and grabs there boobs.
"imma go birch her."
by mc. grabby March 15, 2010
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An application of birch twigs to the bare posterior of a miscreant of misbehaving person. The goal of this is to provide an attitude correction. In past years the process was used by husbands to correct their wives, giving rise to old English "rule of thumb" that is you were not legally allowed to birch your wife with a stick that is larger in diameter than your thumb. Sort of counter productive anyway because the best birch branches to use are about 1/4" in diameter and freshly cut so as to be flexible and whippy. The process of birching often requires the woman to prepare her own birch.

In the case of submissive women receiving a birching often gives rise to strong sexual desires and a feeling of contentment and calm.
Elly, I see you have exceeded the budget for your credit card this month. Go cut a switch for yourself and prepare yourself for a birching.
by canem September 04, 2009
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