Birching 

The act of stalking a person's various saved documentation (such as social media, film reels, leaked recording in private settings etc.) in a quest to find something offensive and frivolous they may have said at any point in the past, regardless of what age or personal growth said person may have gone through since the time of. Disproportionately utilized against people who have made some kind of name for themselves in some way, shape or form since no one cares if Joe Nobody ever said something dumb.

Man 1: Josh Allen said the n-word on twitter back in 2012 when he a junior in high school! What a totally racist asshole!

Man 2: Dude, EVERYONE has said stupid shit at some point in their life, ESPECIALLY high schoolers! I'm not going to chastise someone for something obviously nonsensical they said as a dumb kid, where the only difference is that he was unfortunate enough to say it in a place that saves everything as opposed to normal face to face conversation. Especially when it's totally a coincidence it only came out after he became famous. Quit birching and get a real fucking hobby.

Sean Schemmel: Vic Mignogna's a homophobic piece of shit!
Dragonball fans: Hey Sean care to say anything about that leaked audio of you saying a homophobic slur while doing Goku's voice like 10 times in 9 seconds?
Sean Schemmel's: Hey that's not fair, this stuff is only valid when I'M not the one getting birched!!!

Birching by Assey McGee August 29, 2019

birching 

An application of birch twigs to the bare posterior of a miscreant of misbehaving person. The goal of this is to provide an attitude correction. In past years the process was used by husbands to correct their wives, giving rise to old English "rule of thumb" that is you were not legally allowed to birch your wife with a stick that is larger in diameter than your thumb. Sort of counter productive anyway because the best birch branches to use are about 1/4" in diameter and freshly cut so as to be flexible and whippy. The process of birching often requires the woman to prepare her own birch.

In the case of submissive women receiving a birching often gives rise to strong sexual desires and a feeling of contentment and calm.

Elly, I see you have exceeded the budget for your credit card this month. Go cut a switch for yourself and prepare yourself for a birching.

birching by canem September 4, 2009

birching 

the practice of chewing twigs; predating Islamic culture, chewing twigs was the only source for oral hygiene. This trend has died with the evolution of toothbrushes and toothpaste, but recent scientific research still regards chewing twigs at the same orally hygienic standard as the toothbrush.

"what are you . . . chewing on a stick?"
"No, I'm birching."

birching by Richard Seguritan April 6, 2007

Birching 

Birching is an intense form of pining

Why doesn't he just go out and get a life and stop birching?

Birching by Undokey August 31, 2006

Birching 

Banging a girl in a tree
Ideally a birch tree. But any tree will suffice

Met this girl last night night, fuck her in a tree

Oh shit, you birching sob

Birching by Doriftopyret June 9, 2018

breast birching 

Tying up your girlfriend to a tree with her hands behind her (so her breasts are facing away from the tree) and then whacking her breasts with thin twiggy birch branches. Very kinky.

My girlfriend and I went for a walk in the forest today and I gave her a good breast birching!

breast birching by Teratogen August 23, 2011

birthing a sailor 

The act of a U.S. Marine sitting on the toilet and delivering a large 'deuece' aka BM. While the term has never been fully embraced by the Navy, it persist nonetheless.

George to John, "where the fuck have you been" ? John replies, "Oh man, I was 'giving birthing a sailor," George sardonically replies, "I hope the little fella did not require an episiotomy."

birthing a sailor by LaughingAloud April 14, 2010