an inflamed anal scphinter muscle
that guy jus ass fucked me rough, now ive got a bagel
by AssMonger September 27, 2007
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so drunk that you're toasted...another word for being toasted.
Man I drank so much last night. I was totally bagel!
by regan January 03, 2005
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It means anything you want it to mean. Another word for cool, sick, or rad. Also can be used as a substitute for a swear word when expressing anxiety or anger.
That was sooo freggin' bagel.
by vassia.69 October 04, 2009
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When fraternity gentleman are acting erroneous, or are engaging in erroneous behavior.
"Noj hooking up with that slore is complete bagels"
by queenoftheworld6811 April 23, 2010
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An elderly individual who annoys the general public by going through what is left of their life in a ridiculously slow fashion. Tasks at which a BAGEL is expert at annoying those around him/her include: driving too slow in the hammer lane, taking too long at the checkout line by counting pennies from a change purse, asking if coupons are still valid (when you are behind them in line and really have to take a monster dump).

Conversely, bagels are a constant source of good humor. This is especially the case when the BAGEL in question is confused about a mundane, day-to-day task, such as the attempted mastry of modern-day technical equipment, gas pumps, and the like. A supremely entertaining example of CONFUSED BAGEL usually involves cellular phones.
Shouted to a BAGEL in a car: "Fucking BAGEL!!!! MOOOOOVE!!!"

by Birky 8.5 July 02, 2007
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Bagel Girl. A girl with a youthful face but a mature and curvaceous body.
Baby girl’s a bagel with her glamour body baby face.
by Jinxii February 27, 2011
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